fetaman.com

Brinesanity – an abide jar, filled with all the fuqs given.

By

WordPress magic, and Blogger rabbits.

“Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe and not make messes in the house.”

Lazarus Long, “Time Enough for Love”, (Robert A. Heinlein)

Amazing to be able to share a couple of thoughts with some folks that are real. Although there remain some that may be reluctant to reach out and actually connect beyond social media they are still considered  e-cquaintances in some capacities, because I have spent a fair share of time interacting with them during their “quality” time. So, when one of them that matters asks some thoughts on blogging/site sharing, you can smile a little and make the public reply a little more valuable than just a few DM’s back and forth.

How you doing?
*wave*

So I have a website with over 100,000 impressions. That does not make me an “expert” but it does lend some credibility to my sharing some thoughts on how that can happen for anyone who wants to remain dedicated to “creating content for free” – this is key, you have to be willing to give your thoughts, your words, your interactions away for free most of the time. An example of this working well again recently for me, is Twitter. My following was developed the way it was, and it came directly as a result of my initial 6 months, with over 80% of my interactions retweeting/sharing others more than my own content. Much of my content remained here, or in my creative writings and projects because I chose to leave it/them/me here/there for my own reasons.

So without getting into that side of the discussion, let’s assume you have something to say (*we all do, and respect for that is CRITICAL. This is different than having to honour the words or respect that thought. Be clear about that, because it goes hand in hand with this next principle.) and that is just as important as the medium that you want to use to say it. For example, if you are a complex writer and you do not want to try to “cloud” more of your interactions – unless that is your intent. If you are trying to get quick, comedic or commentary based posts up, with a little more detail then just a tweet, or a Facebook update (*puke, fucking Facebook, but a necessary evil in the publishing world – some, like me, will wait until their publisher puts a gun to their head to “re-activate” the interactions, but when they come, it will be a classic Soyuz hatch undertaking.) then you can keep a simple click and engage photo/media/content template in order very easily. Especially if you are a proven social networker able to build your following with content, interactions and the right tools and resources.

I believe when I thought about getting more into blogging, close to 8 years ago – it was a different world. Not talking about long form, or the watered down 500 word salvo’s that are “informative”, I am talking about technically speaking. I still look back at some of that content, and discovering some that was here and there. I had to “cut my chops” on some of the platforms that were clunky as fuck, and always fidgety. The clean and WYSIWYG (*What You See is What You Get) platforms today offer some unique enhancements and social aspects that one should consider somewhat before “diving in” to creating more of their content, or their own “gulch” of sorts if you dig the gig. *wink*

I am going to consider each of these like a geometric shape.

The most simple of which would be the circle, followed by a triangle, and then the square. Again, keeping it simple for this summary, as I am well aware of geometry and the multitude of shapes. Thanks.

The circle is going to be the simplest, because it is all within that circle. In one fluid motion, you can create a WYSIWYG blog, with great templates, widgets, SEO power (*search engine optimization – if you are looking to drive content for your art, creations, products, you are going to want to make sure you consider this) and a very easy and simple way of creating a post. Add your text, format a little (*if you can format in a Word document, you can do WYSIWYG) bring in a picture or media and boom.

My two favorites here for new start-ups/simple expressions/clean impressions are Blogger and Tumblr, as both integrate well with Twitter type social interactions. Blogger can be thought of more as the “micro-website” and can be customized with a purchased URL, to have it appear like a more legitimate website. For me, Tumblr is something that can expand a little on the “social networking scratch pad website” with a heavy reliance on images and short text posts. For those that “care” both Blogger and Tumblr may have a “stigma” attached to them from some folks, so if you are looking for mitigating that or controlling your image, you may need to bump up to the triangle.

*When you hit this stage, or the previous if you are a bit of a late adapter, you may even want to be considering something like the age old question – how to make money with Twitter? Tweetadder can help do that, on the side, as you go about doing what you are wanting to do anyway – whatever that is. Wealth is always relative, and I will be sharing the blessings from the Tweetadder journey soon enough, it has been a blessing in so many ways.

The super-star of the “free blogging” platforms is WordPress. Like all of the blogging sites, or most, it has a paid model that can be attached to it for enhancing the blog, but in fact, it is not what I would consider a “blog”. I consider it a website, straight up. For example, WordPress.org is different then the WordPress.com site. This is where the serious start to separate from the casual blogger/poster, and look to define and cultivate their own site – technical geeks can create masterpieces from this platform, and some of the world’s largest brands and service providers swear by WordPress. In my opinion, the support and the security, along with the resources makes this the real game changer with the right ISP/hosting.

A simple way to look at WordPress is in terms of “Twitter” development. When you first get into Twitter, it is all about interaction in the trenches. You do not know about tools, or resources that can help you weed out the spammers, or the weak poster, or the clique and bullshit fuqtards – you go about it the long way. You use tools that are there to make it easy, like WordPress.com as a complete package. WordPress.org begins to more fully develop when you see that other tools you control allow you to make more efficient use of your time. So you unfollow the deadheads, or the limited interactions. You can sort out content that is not appreciated, and even make sure to get your daily fix of the asshole that can write some mind melting stuff, and can be irritable enough he wants to make a statement about his own timeline and does not give a fuck if anyone is offended – I hear he is emphatic about this stance *wink*

WordPress as a platform will allow you to create, and customize what you want in any way you care to. The problem here for the initial blogger, especially with WordPress.org, is that it can get confusing fast. You may make some mistakes, a couple of which may cause you more grief than otherwise if you are not careful. Taking your time, and climbing slowly is the absolute ONLY way to dig the gig, but please, allow me to drop some invisible brown acid in that beer and clarify the two biggest issues – security and efficacy/efficiency.

When you try to build a model, because you like cars and want to build a really cool Model-T Ford, it is all about how old you are. If you are young, your parents are going to buy you a simple model, with maybe 5-10 parts. You glue them together, create a small car and paint it before the heavens rain down praise on your glorious model. This is an achievement for anyone, so don’t think I am knocking it. It is however, also relative. If you try to get the inexperienced builder a more complex model, not only may they get frustrated and not even be able to complete it, but if they did – it still could look like shit.

If you want your model to look good, you have to take your time. You are going to make mistakes, and you are going to have to learn how to use the simpler plug-ins, only after you have mastered the simple post. It is a game, a passion and purpose. If you like tinkering, and know you are a detail oriented person who demands to know how things work, and even more so, insists on building it all themselves? WordPress is a magical kingdom, but make sure you know someone who has “been there” – and I have said it before, will say it again, and some more folks are seeing it more and more – drop me a line or reach out, I am happy to help in a variety of capacities.

Trust me, it makes a difference not only in your confidence, but in the development of your readers, peers, associates and dare I use the word with no arrogant inferences, friends and fans.

Security in the traditional sense, and in the sense of reliability, remains the most important part of the WordPress undertaking. Do you know what you are doing with some of the programing, and are you aware you could be leaving some items on your site unsecure, and these may pose a risk to you if you are not aware? Having to include various plug-ins, protocals, updates, registrations from WordPress can make it MUCH MORE COMPLEX than it appears. The logic behind the registrations, and the information you provide to WordPress, as well as other 3rd Party Vendor/Service providers means unless you are a person that is VERY clear about how all of that works, you are going to want to work with someone at least as a peer/associate to help provide some advice on choices and options. If you are interested in some more advice, or want to ask a question, please know I am happy to address just drop me a line here at fetaman.com. If you are too paranoid to do that, then you are definitely not WordPress material, or likely going to flush out as a fly-by-nighter.

Reliability is just as important. With WordPress, you have to co-ordinate domain and site registrations, or have Control Panel interactions that can cause the site to go off-line. This is not a good thing, ever. Neither is having the site take more than 3 seconds, because of your structure not some fuqtard VIc 20, to fully load. If you know what you are doing with WordPress and you have cut some of your teeth, you can make sure you are always backed up, secured, on-line. If you do not know that much, but are a technical “geek” and want to leverage the WordPress paid services, they offer clean plans and nice solutions for all levels of entry.

The final layer, is a full blown “traditional” website consideration, with an ISP/hosting arrangement provided by a quality service team that can help keep the site going. I am not at this point, and not going to comment on it. I have no interest in letting my life get even more insane by expanding what is all ready a full-time job equivalent – and more.

*As a side note, I had a conversation with one of my most personable and real “friends” from Twitter about what it takes for them to get “trill traction yo” – it all boiled down to focus. On average, fetaman.com has consumed about 12 hours a day, with much of it in the locked sections that are available to only certain 3rd parties, for reasons only I truly know. They have their reasons for being there, and I have mine for allowing it.
I will end the suspense by pretty much declaring it is creative and team driven content. There are some folks that are interested, and have proven that they want to earn something from doing what they do. All of “us”, including Gus and not a single one is left out, begins with the concept of “thank you” as the largest payment. Recognition, some kind of pat on the back that something that was shared was more than just a flick of a wrist – it was a genuine desire to make sure we knew, something, however fucked it may seem or not, made a difference. That is why I do it. The money, and the fame – lmao – seriously?

*burp*

Simply put, unless you are a bit of a tech head – stick with the simple text/media/social platform template. The combinations of available widgets and creative content control allows you to use a directed/ghost URL, to actually create the website url/domain name you want, while keeping all the functionality of Blogger and the WYSIWYG backbone. Your best bet is going to be Blogger or Tumblr with a purchased URL.

Right now, I am conducting my own research and measuring some pretty interesting metrics, especially related to some tangent theories on the correlations between actual, and perceived friendships as opposes to interactions, as opposed to measured qualified sitings. Funny, some of the folks that I had “interacted” with earlier have either voluntarily left, or scurried away like cowards, maybe off parachuting or playing their games without frontiers, or just don’t like my stuff in some way shape or form – cool. Is what it is, some sweet lessons in there, as there are sweet lessons in the way you want to extend a hand.

Like this, when everyone is going to think it is fucked, or many will not even read it.

But if you want help, and I do not mean letting me control data or anything, you just want help to have someone add some thoughts, perhaps call them batting signals – well, trust me. I like to play, this is what life is about.

It has nothing to do with money.
It has everything to do with faith.

When you can help, and choose to ask for nothing in return – the return is greater than anything, except for respect for the time that was earned.

*abide*

By

Buffett On Acid.

The wizard came up in the daily readings.

So I have decided to honour some of the requests and include some shorter pieces, that will have the readers of the site and the engaged Twitter heads et al, enjoying some of the observations. It has been a request, and I figure that since I am using the creative side of the miles walked to get to the end of the book that is being published, why not just hop over here and make sure to note some of the “logic” behind the tweets.

Brilliant, hard to understand all the time, but genius” is a great compliment to flatter any ego, and I have fought hard to not be such a blatant “self-promotion” machine, but fetaman.com is a site that has been created, and kept whole to illustrate the range of writing, and various styles along with media, so as to ensure that it has some co-operative and reactive elements to it.

Books can be so static and don’t allow for more of the interactions, as such, how about some “common thoughts” or pokes and prods at what the tweet was intended to mean, and where it may take another on the journey in their own minds according to what I may be able to see from this awesome Herman Miller. (*shameless plug on how great the product is, and more importantly the amazing team at Design Within Reach that not only helped provide it, but have made sure to keep it serviced and sorted. Yes, that is right. An ergonomic cloud, that actually has jet packs that hover over the atmosphere, much like the attitude of Andrew and Jen, two great team members that are rock solid. No there is not “compensation” received for this plug, it is just part of what happens to come out of the writing at the time, and maybe will help see the “social ethics” of passing on good information, and pro-active stuff, not only the negative stuff)

So here are some of my thoughts, on a respected mentor. Consider all of my good fortune in the roast, please or do not consider it all. For to do it an injustice, would be to do the same to the intent of the respectful prod and admiration that is bestowed in the musings of a man, made of feta cheese.

Quite the fuqtarded piece of cheese at that.

*sip

The illusion of eternity, or the concept of it becomes a bit of place from which to consider all things. Especially relevant during the “invisible brown acid” stages of the adventure, this concept of space and time melts into a need to find great joy in the simplicity of things. If an egg beater has value when beating eggs, then it must also have just as much value or more perhaps in other things, and as such, I am going to hold this until such time as I can find a way of proving that the return on my investment, is the memory. Never undervalue that.

The “hand tossed” of the bread business is just not generic enough. It is lovely to consider at home, but at the Buffett home price is always the object. Said price is always a “wonderful” (*man uses this word a lot, always in awe of life, well played – truly makes the magic carpet ride a better one.) gauge for the “value” derived from it, and that value is not only the digestion of the bread, but the items that are the byproducts of the sale of it.

Always aware of his time, and even more so, the limit of it regardless of who you are, allows this one to bring out a bit of a smirk. To have tripped balls so hard you can not only not see the watch, but you logically begin to discover some small feelings of paranoia related to not being aware of time, and that just takes you further into the rabbit hole? Pretty soon tea with the rabbit is a reality for all, whether he is a single pipe smoking rabbit or not, that remains to be seen. Is Warren the pipe smoking rabbit?

This has so many levels of delicious that it should have you Googling for the word “MLACH” – it is a 5 letter word for good tasting. It is dated, but it is delicious during times of festive diversion. Who bribes? Them, or him? Is the swimming with sharks, or in a pool? Is this a figurative swim, or a literal one? Wait a second, Michael Moore did that film on the corruption side of corporate America and he proved that today the banks are not giving out guns anymore, that is politically incorrect, so it is brides then right? *sip

If you are too young to need to get a reference about the Grateful Dead, that is all I can say to bring you up to speed. Futures and core longevity plays are his gig, he is not one to go fast on just about anything except paper. He loves to go fast and furious on paper. It is the modern chess masters pawn, and the simplicity of it does not diminish the compound rice applications across the board of a simple 64 square plate. Not a game of kings at all. Nope, not at all. Nor is math.

Sheeple, the concept of latin with business to create a new term that almost always work if you have the right situation, context and delivery. I am sure that Warren does not use talc like normal people. He has made allusions to unicorns to many times, and it is clear. He actually uses unicorn dust on his balls to keep them dry at all times. At the end of the day, he has 13 of his pupils arrive to map and scope the tea bag readings from the day. All of the results are gathered into empirical data pivot tables, and matrix macro gyrations facilitate the next days trading activities.

I know, it all sounds weird.

I can imagine, you think just because it is Friday, I am on this invisible brown acid again.

Well, not entirely.

I am never off of it.

It is what I signed up for when I got my life back.

Go on, shake it.

It’s just a fetaglobe.

*abide*

By

Fly when there is sun.

  • 100,003 @ 5:32 p.m *genuine humble bow is observed
  • 2oo posts
  • 12 pages, *some selections still private and exclusive*
  • 21 categories
  • 1,028 tags
  • 1000+ embedded links, laterals, tangents,”hints” and “blades of orange grass”
  • 2500+ hours of development and effort, media, iFeta, FetaChops and general brinesanity

Long hard road, with a hell of a lot of what some would refer to as old fashioned effort. The site over 14 months has managed to get to 100,000 impressions and hits.

No bullshit, despite the haters and the bots that look for scams and weak points.

It is all right here.

Regardless of my great boasts, and braggadocio* flare (*remember a small tribute once in a while to the cousins, the fellow Greeks that went west seeking pasta, and found wine to allow them to rest, learning some of the finer traits the modern Greek goes without such as more discretion, common math skills and a gentlemen’s agreement he will allow his wife to drink the same tease, but hers from a bag different than the one he ensures is diamond endowed, fluffed and proud) I am not perfect.

I have tried to interact, and keep the faith. Many folks are still around, and have become better friends, for lack of wanting to get into some kind of psychoanalytical state of discretion about the definition of the word, but please spare me the need for you to ask the teacher if he can tell you where to draw the imaginary line in your playground. If you choose to look at it that way, imagine a giant oil dipstick filled with black gel in an Oldsmobile Cut’ass that is pulled out and drawn across my imaginary sandbox as well. It is here, let’s just for the sake of argument call it Fetaman.com.

Any questions, any time sunshine.

I shake my head at pursuing the “dream” of writing, creating my own site has been a “trip” considering it was going to be meant as an outlet for some expression, and used to help provide a figurative backbone sliding to the works that are coming out in 2013. That should include two separate “books”, one fictional that will likely be a series of 3 smaller ones to cover three very distinct reasons and commentaries on “orange grass”, and another biographical/research driven. The beginning of another project has yet to be fully announced, and all of them remain incredible new places and things in my life for which I am most grateful.

Nobody would argue it could be perceived as very challenging, so I am sure you will accept my apologies for the delay in the launch, but if you are following the site, or have some idea, you know some of it has been “writer’s issues” and the rest, just the way if is. Sorry.

Hell? Sure, the writing for some, but for me that would be much too arrogant of a word for it.

Non sequitur it appears, my heaven and “hell” has been one of my own making, intentional or otherwise. Whatever it has been, is something that I have been responsible for, and I am not ever going to be playing a victim role. Stating fact, or fiction, is still a statement when they are kept in the context of their own minds, and remain relative to the participating parties in a capacity that is both physically safe and secure, of course mentally assuring oneself of the control you have over your own thoughts is key lime in the pie.

I would suggest, but fuck. You don’t even know me, why would you take my word for it? Some random on the internet, no pictures, no public person – man almost as good as the politics and the childish bullshit you can find on Twitter, or any other social network. The anarchists, or the sleuth – the “artists” of their own works, making sure to spend time in some kind of soap opera setting.

I am not a “kiss and dump” guy – if you are still on the mutual following, which is a term I find ignorant and truly not worthy of the interactions that can occur, there has been something that kept us here, but seriously – how the fuck do you even begin to try to manage all of that time and those experiences while looking forward? Can we provide some kind of response to every small mathematical clue that is given, and still have no idea what we are doing about some definitive answer?

Nothing easy comes for free, or without some kind of contribution of effort, commitment and extended over the longevity. A delta trapped in the mindset over a period it seems and quite frankly, a transition and an experience, every part of it as real as the growing of one. From allowing certain pivot points to reflect their own directions and then sailing on, to carrying on – in whatever capacity you want.

No one here at Fetaman.com is going to be judging you – wherever you came from, in whatever social network – you converge there for the ability to do what that physical place or that site facilitates, and you come here to speak and contribute about whatever you want. If you think you are being judged, it is by yourself alone as you interpret these words.

I am grateful to have been a catalyst, said not with an arrogance or a reward demanded for service of acclaimed reactants forming their natural evolution.

Recall, that cold winter night and the shallow naive – there is a difference in judging and understanding that, which is not mutually inclusive.

I want to be including more of you in the site, and can only do that when a hand is extended in good faith.

That simple.

With Twitter, I have tried to venture back into the world of greetings, and small blurbs of information. Hits, quick bong hits, shots, candy and sugar rushes, smiles, passing out taint grenades, shitting on all the crap you despise in society, screaming at the asshole that did something wrong…the sound will resonate somewhere…so I can dig that. You are here for another reason tho…me as well…some have been nudged, and from their own diligence, and from what I clearly deem the lack thereof, they have made decisions to not pursue more of an interaction.

A mutual musing, and for a muse, in whatever shape or form – a welcome respite from the blend and bland lacquer finish on the aluminum, powder coated food machine that will hula hoop your goop.

My need for expression is in my own waking dream, my own “invisible brown acid”, and I shall not ask for permission, nor beg for forgiveness in order to satisfy the wondering of the amused and the confused at the sum of shit that is going to happen because of the magic that comes from my declaration, and proof, that grass is orange.

Form a line by the reaction to the expressions. I know for a fact, the velvet ropes have arrived, and they will guide you with the comfort of the gull wing shoes and the dark tones. If you are in a challenging headspace because of health, happiness, love…money…whatever it is, it colours things a vivid orange, and makes it all seem much more real in truth, handled by capacities chiseled with resounding devotion.

Passion ne’er looks back but to smile, and if now those colours are the same ones, even now, they must appear different. You are no longer in that space, that place, that time – that moment. You are “further” away from it, and so see it in a different shade. A different variable colour.

I can dig it – there is no sun, without any darkness – there is no happy all the time, to lie to oneself about it, is one of the greatest bullshit cons this world has begun to truly deal with. Professing to know, and do not believe I do so, I state very clearly what I do know, and am beyond well aware of it’s relevance.

Travesties that mankind continues to perpetuate, inflate and saturate. then wonder why the invisible brown acid makes people hallucinate, or whether those “friends” you have close to you, are really being sincere and genuine. Considering what that is, has to be based on the information that you do know, or what has been shared with you.

Even the best friends that you have in your life, are not going to be able to even know a drop in the bucket of what the real happenings in life are. Lift that pitcher, make me laugh – be there doing something for me, and I will be more than considerate of the terms. Ask to be given support, and kinship – be seen as the wink link in the chain or the one that is not welcome to join the procession of the luxury car cavalcade. Who the fuck wants to be seen with a CCM 10-speed/buckshot handlebars upturned grooving the bottles down the street in an obscure and unseen way…

*context smirk*

Your hell, is going to be something that is much different than the starving children and people around the world who have nothing to eat, and are in a position to do nothing about it. Seriously nothing. I am older now, and find myself wanting to do more in this regard. Helping those, that are in their own living hell – and have no way out. Other than a small miracle, a genuine hand of fate bringing some stranger to this calling. A sacrifice, for those that have prayed for it, and know they are blessed. As I am, for no longer seeing what I have gone through as the hell it was, but the hell that was manifested.

Your hell, is not a kind one, or of another one can consider making unless you are a coward. Makings of your own creation, your hell will involve yourself and after time, getting a firm grip on where you want to be going, you begin to see the wonder and the beauty in the admission, an apology and some empathy which emphasizes respect moving forward. Saying sorry, from the heart, for real is not a hell, neither is hell itself something to be sorry for.

Is.

Stay real, please – vent when you need to, laugh when you don’t. sing when there is darkness, fly when there is sun.

*smile*

I am on the ground, and others in mid air.
Sending in the clowns.
Approved bliss, still or moving.
Sending is an acknowledgment, not an arrival.
It was always there, as sure as the lines.
Sand, time, air – cares.
Don’t you love a farce?
Whine, and an outfit made of cheese.

Don’t bother, we’re here.
Is it rich?

Oh, how timing is everything.

My bow, is of the most humble today more than any other.

Grateful to be alive, to be blessed, to have so many folks who have come by to say hello and share a smile, or a tale and have out days better because of it, somehow.

“The grass, it is orange man.” – Gus

100,000.

*abide*

By

Handshake UD – NOYB 1.1

The experience continues, and the bottom line?

I am thirsty.

“Asking” for a beer, and a handshake, I would have thought that would have been very easy to do with the offer of leaving an iPod behind for the lucky winner of the back-of-the-napkin raffle. It is a 3rd Generation, 4GB, iPod Shuffle and it is new. and the posts are right below this one. Here is the the shortcut to the original post, in case the “napkin” has some feta or brine juice on it.

It can get pretty spunky, so providing a daily update for those that think this is “twerk” or about making money.

So far, 6 Tweets of my own, that have been RT from me, non from here direct but one single solitary Zippo. Connected the crosshairs with a direct S/O and for that, am always grateful. This “code” is pretty simple, there has been one RT – so, interesting to note the impressions and the hits, but what about extended handshakes?

Trench warfare is not easy, smells like pretzels down here.

Twitter – 17 users, 33 interactions
Twitter Statistics:
Stars (n/a): 24
RT: 9
RT (*beer): 0

“Longevity is created, not spurred.” – Gus

Friends Family: **
RT (*beer): 0*
BG:**
*none of these friends have not RT, or will not be eligible until they do. The likelihood of that is barely registered, they are the support and kinship of another kind. I am most grateful for their generosity, and affirmations of abide in and of themselves. Support comes in many ways, as does wealth.
**NOYB – None of Your Business represents the fictional title of the “free” research piece that will flow from this approximate week, and it is going to include a groundbreaking revelation about the “Buy the Book” principle. It may or may not involve the last series of months of discovery, and will be interesting to get for free, as the trial lift, pre-release of the “Orange Grass Abides” piece, the title of which is different.

Anybody who demands brutal honesty and transparency from me, is to be granted the same opportunity at any given time.

“It is never madness. It is just about deemed reasons justified as an intent.” – Gus

Hotel Abide.

Demand brutal honesty and transparency from another, but be prepared to grant the same to opportunity and its concequences, logical repurcussions or cerebral sutra.

Two spreadsheets and a microphone.

*abide*

By

Forgive me. I have sinned.

Our Elites, are in tweet heaven, 
Holy is Their Name;
Their kingdom’s cum,
 your wills begets some,

on Favstar as it is in your “heaven.”
Elites, serve us this day your daily head,
and Big Mac us your puns, 
so we forgive the fuqtards who sin against us;
and lead me not in masturbation,
 but lever my meat cause I’m evil.
Amen.

I know you are cut of the cloth that has never done such things, oh wise monk of Twitter, with your sage drive-thru cloak and pontificated presence in the Elite Lords stewardship, but I stand here before you with one hope.

The abstinence that will be fed to purge my soul of the vile tribulations that you walked, and I know of the hardship that you had gone through – to have had to walk through the valley of the Chiseled Followback clan, and survived – all in a testament to the star piles left beside the camel dung of your sage words and creative sadness, lest not forget the monotonous tones of your identity and your characters in Jesus Christ, Superstarbang – a miracle. I can only be so blessed to know one day I may be able to tweet about what I ate, and inspire another to smile with my misery over the battery remote, please forgive me for what I am about to reveal.

Revile me.

I sought the Jezebel, a woman that Mary Mandolin had strummed singing sweet songs of memories pure and true, it was her message to me and I fell to her wails. I wanted to be like you oh great monk of the perish.

I had to kiss her, Tweetadder. Her twitter strategy…so…flawless. Fair. So just. So “elite”.

She was so lovely there. Glistening in the moonlight, the shadow that had been cast by your own forefathers. Perhaps even those of the renowned Twitteratti, slipping from character to character to replace the chalice from their library years, with a hope that no one can hear that stalk fall or the sirens calls heated by the glorious gasps of dragons I am assured you have tamed, now that you have left them out of those dungeons.

The forest is such a wild place for a wizard. You know, or at least one of your identities knows. Of this, be sure.

I should not have been tempted, but the link. It seemed so real. So true, it must have been a real person there, gifted in the craft they speak so much of being able to create. The bosoms were grand, they were everywhere – she had turned into a nipple Medusa. I was not able to escape her clever ways, and appealing musk. The site before me was horrific, I had thought, that yes, if I had made it to the mountain I would be well armed to move forward and avoid her calls.

But those nipples…below knee…baloney…delirious joy…freedom.

Oh but wise sage, those nipples, how they turned into aureole serpents of flesh tones promised with the taste of the positions to come. The format kingdom, for but a moment to see what she really had in store for me, not knowing it was just the gateway.

She leaned in, and whispered.

“See who is not following you.”

It was glorious.

Like something I had never seen before.

She was right.

It was the gateway.

And this, this is my satchel.

Each filled with a real story, and real experience.

Each letter, each stroke counted, known.

The money shots, the lucky shots, the buck shots, hot shots, shit shots, big shots, bot shots…

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the hord:
Tramps of vintage oak where the grapes of wrath are stored;
I have loosed the feta lightning of tsunami swift brine words:
Girthy souvlaki dong.

“Glory, glory, hallelujah!”

Yes, I had seen what her power was.

And the patterns all became so clear.

I was hooked.

It had all started with the one simple filter application.

Such sexy lingerie, such a ubiquitous smirk…how did you do it, how did you resist the temptation? Tell me.

You*: “Forefathers of the Chiseled Followback clan, the Favstar Genitalliarattii, had tried to survive in the world, and hoped they could hide in their secret world, but they had to mutate, and begin to preserve their word on the dried parchment of elk cock. It was a horrible time, but they survived. Merely on the bones and fluids of their own kind, shoving star, after star, after worthless star – no nutritional value in those virtual mitzvah’s. Some said it was Zeus himself that had no value, but we are not want here to decide if we should deconstruct the glorious essence of their choices, so much as to agree.”

Yes, forgive me, a dirty efficiency whore looking to be more effective in marketing my book about funny shit, and entertaining, never begging for sympathy despite a semi-private survival of cancer, or hoping that one would simply donate, but offering words in fair exchange for entertainment not constrained by Google ads and horrible pupil killing dissentry and disgusting cardboard entertainment about another cat being walked by a fictional owner, or another flat dissertation on the meaning of love and why it will kill all your dreams, so just listen to your Smith’s cassette and you will figure out now came sooner than you thought  – forgive m…

You*: “The fools you suffer on Twitter are of your own making. It is merely your imagination, and want for some kind of excitement, or a need to fill that void, with some kind of creativity. Some of the animals in the forest, are vile and nasty, and are still part of it. Some are whores and suckers of meat sticks their children and wives are oblivious to, but know this. They have a role, and so you can allow them to do what they wish, but protect yourself from them by using more tools. Being aware of who and what they are, before they can attempt to get into your mind. Do not be fearful of their lack of cackles, or their support. You do not need it. Please read the piece of paper you can take with you, and post of it on your website. Inform the people of the world, that they exist. Those that have whored themselves out for number, and with no creativity and action, but thinking they can now control you. Mankind, will never advance beyond the state of Twitter, if we do not stay the course.”

Sancte redemptor scriptor, fides vestra

Fides est nobis creativum winners,
Nunc et in miseria vestri, ad iustitiam.
Futuis iudicium vestrum, quod suus ‘valor est vilis mihi.
Mea vita est, intellectus meus.
Ego in harena quisquam.

*abide*

*please read this section out loud while reading it. If you do not read it, I will not be able to hear you. As such, please go back, and read it again loud, and I will get back to you when I can. If you don’t eat your meat, how do you expect to get any pudding? You can’t get any pudding, if you don’t eat the meat.

**contact is imminent as a matter of choice, not fate.