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Brinesanity – an abide jar, filled with all the fuqs given.

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WordPress magic, and Blogger rabbits.

“Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe and not make messes in the house.”

Lazarus Long, “Time Enough for Love”, (Robert A. Heinlein)

Amazing to be able to share a couple of thoughts with some folks that are real. Although there remain some that may be reluctant to reach out and actually connect beyond social media they are still considered  e-cquaintances in some capacities, because I have spent a fair share of time interacting with them during their “quality” time. So, when one of them that matters asks some thoughts on blogging/site sharing, you can smile a little and make the public reply a little more valuable than just a few DM’s back and forth.

How you doing?
*wave*

So I have a website with over 100,000 impressions. That does not make me an “expert” but it does lend some credibility to my sharing some thoughts on how that can happen for anyone who wants to remain dedicated to “creating content for free” – this is key, you have to be willing to give your thoughts, your words, your interactions away for free most of the time. An example of this working well again recently for me, is Twitter. My following was developed the way it was, and it came directly as a result of my initial 6 months, with over 80% of my interactions retweeting/sharing others more than my own content. Much of my content remained here, or in my creative writings and projects because I chose to leave it/them/me here/there for my own reasons.

So without getting into that side of the discussion, let’s assume you have something to say (*we all do, and respect for that is CRITICAL. This is different than having to honour the words or respect that thought. Be clear about that, because it goes hand in hand with this next principle.) and that is just as important as the medium that you want to use to say it. For example, if you are a complex writer and you do not want to try to “cloud” more of your interactions – unless that is your intent. If you are trying to get quick, comedic or commentary based posts up, with a little more detail then just a tweet, or a Facebook update (*puke, fucking Facebook, but a necessary evil in the publishing world – some, like me, will wait until their publisher puts a gun to their head to “re-activate” the interactions, but when they come, it will be a classic Soyuz hatch undertaking.) then you can keep a simple click and engage photo/media/content template in order very easily. Especially if you are a proven social networker able to build your following with content, interactions and the right tools and resources.

I believe when I thought about getting more into blogging, close to 8 years ago – it was a different world. Not talking about long form, or the watered down 500 word salvo’s that are “informative”, I am talking about technically speaking. I still look back at some of that content, and discovering some that was here and there. I had to “cut my chops” on some of the platforms that were clunky as fuck, and always fidgety. The clean and WYSIWYG (*What You See is What You Get) platforms today offer some unique enhancements and social aspects that one should consider somewhat before “diving in” to creating more of their content, or their own “gulch” of sorts if you dig the gig. *wink*

I am going to consider each of these like a geometric shape.

The most simple of which would be the circle, followed by a triangle, and then the square. Again, keeping it simple for this summary, as I am well aware of geometry and the multitude of shapes. Thanks.

The circle is going to be the simplest, because it is all within that circle. In one fluid motion, you can create a WYSIWYG blog, with great templates, widgets, SEO power (*search engine optimization – if you are looking to drive content for your art, creations, products, you are going to want to make sure you consider this) and a very easy and simple way of creating a post. Add your text, format a little (*if you can format in a Word document, you can do WYSIWYG) bring in a picture or media and boom.

My two favorites here for new start-ups/simple expressions/clean impressions are Blogger and Tumblr, as both integrate well with Twitter type social interactions. Blogger can be thought of more as the “micro-website” and can be customized with a purchased URL, to have it appear like a more legitimate website. For me, Tumblr is something that can expand a little on the “social networking scratch pad website” with a heavy reliance on images and short text posts. For those that “care” both Blogger and Tumblr may have a “stigma” attached to them from some folks, so if you are looking for mitigating that or controlling your image, you may need to bump up to the triangle.

*When you hit this stage, or the previous if you are a bit of a late adapter, you may even want to be considering something like the age old question – how to make money with Twitter? Tweetadder can help do that, on the side, as you go about doing what you are wanting to do anyway – whatever that is. Wealth is always relative, and I will be sharing the blessings from the Tweetadder journey soon enough, it has been a blessing in so many ways.

The super-star of the “free blogging” platforms is WordPress. Like all of the blogging sites, or most, it has a paid model that can be attached to it for enhancing the blog, but in fact, it is not what I would consider a “blog”. I consider it a website, straight up. For example, WordPress.org is different then the WordPress.com site. This is where the serious start to separate from the casual blogger/poster, and look to define and cultivate their own site – technical geeks can create masterpieces from this platform, and some of the world’s largest brands and service providers swear by WordPress. In my opinion, the support and the security, along with the resources makes this the real game changer with the right ISP/hosting.

A simple way to look at WordPress is in terms of “Twitter” development. When you first get into Twitter, it is all about interaction in the trenches. You do not know about tools, or resources that can help you weed out the spammers, or the weak poster, or the clique and bullshit fuqtards – you go about it the long way. You use tools that are there to make it easy, like WordPress.com as a complete package. WordPress.org begins to more fully develop when you see that other tools you control allow you to make more efficient use of your time. So you unfollow the deadheads, or the limited interactions. You can sort out content that is not appreciated, and even make sure to get your daily fix of the asshole that can write some mind melting stuff, and can be irritable enough he wants to make a statement about his own timeline and does not give a fuck if anyone is offended – I hear he is emphatic about this stance *wink*

WordPress as a platform will allow you to create, and customize what you want in any way you care to. The problem here for the initial blogger, especially with WordPress.org, is that it can get confusing fast. You may make some mistakes, a couple of which may cause you more grief than otherwise if you are not careful. Taking your time, and climbing slowly is the absolute ONLY way to dig the gig, but please, allow me to drop some invisible brown acid in that beer and clarify the two biggest issues – security and efficacy/efficiency.

When you try to build a model, because you like cars and want to build a really cool Model-T Ford, it is all about how old you are. If you are young, your parents are going to buy you a simple model, with maybe 5-10 parts. You glue them together, create a small car and paint it before the heavens rain down praise on your glorious model. This is an achievement for anyone, so don’t think I am knocking it. It is however, also relative. If you try to get the inexperienced builder a more complex model, not only may they get frustrated and not even be able to complete it, but if they did – it still could look like shit.

If you want your model to look good, you have to take your time. You are going to make mistakes, and you are going to have to learn how to use the simpler plug-ins, only after you have mastered the simple post. It is a game, a passion and purpose. If you like tinkering, and know you are a detail oriented person who demands to know how things work, and even more so, insists on building it all themselves? WordPress is a magical kingdom, but make sure you know someone who has “been there” – and I have said it before, will say it again, and some more folks are seeing it more and more – drop me a line or reach out, I am happy to help in a variety of capacities.

Trust me, it makes a difference not only in your confidence, but in the development of your readers, peers, associates and dare I use the word with no arrogant inferences, friends and fans.

Security in the traditional sense, and in the sense of reliability, remains the most important part of the WordPress undertaking. Do you know what you are doing with some of the programing, and are you aware you could be leaving some items on your site unsecure, and these may pose a risk to you if you are not aware? Having to include various plug-ins, protocals, updates, registrations from WordPress can make it MUCH MORE COMPLEX than it appears. The logic behind the registrations, and the information you provide to WordPress, as well as other 3rd Party Vendor/Service providers means unless you are a person that is VERY clear about how all of that works, you are going to want to work with someone at least as a peer/associate to help provide some advice on choices and options. If you are interested in some more advice, or want to ask a question, please know I am happy to address just drop me a line here at fetaman.com. If you are too paranoid to do that, then you are definitely not WordPress material, or likely going to flush out as a fly-by-nighter.

Reliability is just as important. With WordPress, you have to co-ordinate domain and site registrations, or have Control Panel interactions that can cause the site to go off-line. This is not a good thing, ever. Neither is having the site take more than 3 seconds, because of your structure not some fuqtard VIc 20, to fully load. If you know what you are doing with WordPress and you have cut some of your teeth, you can make sure you are always backed up, secured, on-line. If you do not know that much, but are a technical “geek” and want to leverage the WordPress paid services, they offer clean plans and nice solutions for all levels of entry.

The final layer, is a full blown “traditional” website consideration, with an ISP/hosting arrangement provided by a quality service team that can help keep the site going. I am not at this point, and not going to comment on it. I have no interest in letting my life get even more insane by expanding what is all ready a full-time job equivalent – and more.

*As a side note, I had a conversation with one of my most personable and real “friends” from Twitter about what it takes for them to get “trill traction yo” – it all boiled down to focus. On average, fetaman.com has consumed about 12 hours a day, with much of it in the locked sections that are available to only certain 3rd parties, for reasons only I truly know. They have their reasons for being there, and I have mine for allowing it.
I will end the suspense by pretty much declaring it is creative and team driven content. There are some folks that are interested, and have proven that they want to earn something from doing what they do. All of “us”, including Gus and not a single one is left out, begins with the concept of “thank you” as the largest payment. Recognition, some kind of pat on the back that something that was shared was more than just a flick of a wrist – it was a genuine desire to make sure we knew, something, however fucked it may seem or not, made a difference. That is why I do it. The money, and the fame – lmao – seriously?

*burp*

Simply put, unless you are a bit of a tech head – stick with the simple text/media/social platform template. The combinations of available widgets and creative content control allows you to use a directed/ghost URL, to actually create the website url/domain name you want, while keeping all the functionality of Blogger and the WYSIWYG backbone. Your best bet is going to be Blogger or Tumblr with a purchased URL.

Right now, I am conducting my own research and measuring some pretty interesting metrics, especially related to some tangent theories on the correlations between actual, and perceived friendships as opposes to interactions, as opposed to measured qualified sitings. Funny, some of the folks that I had “interacted” with earlier have either voluntarily left, or scurried away like cowards, maybe off parachuting or playing their games without frontiers, or just don’t like my stuff in some way shape or form – cool. Is what it is, some sweet lessons in there, as there are sweet lessons in the way you want to extend a hand.

Like this, when everyone is going to think it is fucked, or many will not even read it.

But if you want help, and I do not mean letting me control data or anything, you just want help to have someone add some thoughts, perhaps call them batting signals – well, trust me. I like to play, this is what life is about.

It has nothing to do with money.
It has everything to do with faith.

When you can help, and choose to ask for nothing in return – the return is greater than anything, except for respect for the time that was earned.

*abide*

By

Help, My Snowman’s Burning Down (1964, Carson Davidson)

An image of the world, as advertised.

The soundtrack is your own mind man, woman, or child.

Enable it.

Talk to the meece, mais oui?

*abide*

By

One small step…?

It is a small step?

It was a small undertaking, unimportant.

iGus peers from the shadows of “fiction”.

I abide.

Oh, how the truth does set one free.

Cowards need not apply, liars lay in thine grass.

No issue, I own my miles, in my gulch.

The grass is orange.

Fuck you cancer, we win…again.

μάνα, για πάντα στην καρδιά μου.

*abide*

02-16-2013 

By

Twitter Lebowski?

By

Armstruth “I am just a good fella”

On the tour, around the world special diets and supplements were used, natural of course, good, simple food. So what if they were not in the cooked books, or the small pressings of re-issued prescriptions like microwaved media. Why can’t people just acknowledge that Armstruth was simply doing what he was told, to eat nothing too complex, allow the supplies to go in one end, be processed, then leaving the back end in tiny brown envelopes. There is no proof, and there is no flaming cigar syringe that proves he had any type of metabolic tantric relations with Usada Dope, the Nigerian immigrant that was purchased by a French Tour de Bovine route farmer, that hoped the annual traffic would help sustain his family.

Armstruth thought he was doing the right thing, when he stopped on the side of the road that day, and it all changed. As a result of believing what a simple dairy farmer had suggested would be a good remedy for his ailing pistons and pumps, believing that the cream was not frozen, it was warmed. It is really cream, and not cow shit with alfalfa in it and that is healthy because Pharmataint, the global authority on all things good for humans says so. Then after watching the 9 year old sistah lift the cows tail and Dairy Queen swirl one glorious mound of love into that beauty. I must admit, it was impressive to see the chase care footage show him knock that bitch out with one strike, and the round house delivered to the farmer – Bruce Lie approved.

That is not an ice cream cone you best be serving to some wise guys in Brooklyn. Even if you think it may go off like apologizing for calling them just slimy, and cunty, but not fat. So Pratatoe applies the FYLM (Fuck You Lie to Me methodology, invented in Staford by the same team that invented the Senate Sock, the enhanced congressional fleshlight found within all first world governing quorum facilities, including the public speaking chambers) principle.

*all re-enactments of the following parts of the Armstruth dialogues are meant to convey the appearance of a drug fuelled good guys dinner, in Brooklyn looking for guerilla footage of the elusive Zitizilla, a gargantuan fucking ape, with the ability to disguise his entrance into the Times Square Anal Bead Cinematography festival with daft integration, and limited repercussions. Please note, the extension of the mind required to imagine a giant mobster ape, of any ethnic background, eating a deli sammich, scratching the proverbial balls, may be elusive and should not to be attempted by anyone without two thumbs.

<scene III>

[the table is covered with reports from the UBS-Whorebird HNW Division, we see the Bogota emeralds outlining the pictures of the Kwanzaa tree from O. Pratatoe’s holiday trip. Sparkling Eunuch Springs water bottles remain, they are placed next to the CrewRig Insta-Adrenaline brewer strategically replacing the BO$E system for this segment]

O. Pratatoe: You’re a pistol, you’re really funny. You’re really funny.
Armstruth: What do you mean?
O. Pratatoe: It’s funny, you know. It’s a good story, it’s funny, you’re a funny guy – like how the fuck you think you going to tell me, you was wanting to make sure she is dafriend still, an ‘pologized?
<lighter heard, bong rips>
Armstruth: What do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What? In circles, and always under the guise of not totally admitting fault, cause that would mean the bugs in the room youse gotz in here are gonna be all fazoole and shit?
<huge breasted 1920’s cigarette girl comes by, tray is filled with elastic bands with the FYPM emblazoned across them, hand gesture, with a sweet follow up ass slap and kissing lips sound>
O. Pratatoe: It’s just, you know…fuck look at dat azz…mmmmm, hmmmm…yeah, you’re just funny, it’s… funny, the way you tell the story and everything… called her a whore, but not a fat whore. That is bullshit, what a fucking joke, that you would not remember saying it, and yeah, prescilly portant to someone he knew was.
Armstruth: Funny how? What’s funny about it? Like you think I am not being sincere here?
Balls Lebowski (Voice, producer, off-set): Armski no! You got it all wrong!!
Armstruth: Oh, oh, Anthony. He’s a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?
O. Pratatoe: Jus…seems De Niro healed, know? Not analyzed-really. Not healed, and not telling the truth…you seem full of fucking shit, and a selfish fuck looking to get back into the circuit because your gravy train is now Purina dog food boiled in the kettle with some shallots from your fucking spice garden you fucking gamboom? You want me to get Van Fraudde to come over and show you how we play Two Nipple Monte?
Armstruth: How much for dee beetle girl?
<mimic best Belushi impression, and pretends to eat O. Pratatoe’s calf like a chicken leg>
O. Pratatoe: Just…Animal House?
Armstruth: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like imma not doing the blues like a brother well enough for you, I amuse you? I make you fucking laugh <hard glance to camera> Imma here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
O. Pratatoe: Just… you know, how you tell the story. Keep lying. Hol’lying it up for the new rubber band sales person cause she is all “hearts on my door” and “I love you” and shit, playing the media whore with 38 abortions on your record – 3 of them francophone, speaking cows man.
Armstruth: No, no, I don’t know, you said it. What the fuck does “the only path back to wealth is his ability to placate now” mean? How do I know? You said it. How the fuck <holds up hands in papal fashion, clasping manicured nails purchased by donation tenderly to not wash off the glaze, shits expensive yo> – so many deserters, and now my Pratatoe appearance is gonna be like fucking a stranger in the ass?
O. Pratatoe: [long pause] Get the fuck out of here, ArmedTruth! Owl Grove
<throws gang sign, concealed by the wiggly box shit some techie puts over the film>
Armstruth: [everyone laughs] Ya motherfucker! I almost had you, I almost had you. Ya stuttering prick ya. Balls, was she shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Poe-taught. You may fold under questioning if those motherfucker’s at UBS-Whorebird get snapped into the wood shed behind the lake during the Vig Split ‘n Spitt Cookout at the grove.

THIS POSTS FREE O. PRATATOE LEARNING THINK GOES TO:
*The Gulch.

 photo goodFetastyles_zpsfc9af73b.jpg

You know what the real shame is, that more fucking people are going to think that all bad guys are in leather, or cheap suits trying to blend in until the Rolex flashes. Let those that cast no stones on the philanthropic tides remind us of why we must not believe anymore, and let one fucking asshole stereotype lead us into temptation. Paradigm is shifted with the lenses, and the macro or the micro look will tell the difference of reality, from where your mind really sits today. Wake up and fuckin’ live. The grass is fucking orange man. The grass. Is. Fucking. Orange.

*abide*

By

O. Pratato? Armstruth, tonged.

I do not dwell in my shit, or my fight for it. I recognize it, and the glory of remission in hand, is better than the hope for the two in the bush. Living strong means taking what you can get, to survive. That is what caused me to believe in the man, Lance Armstrong. A public figure that suffered much of the same fate as many a man, literally, and of course inspired millions with his “lies”.

That is what all still state, and yes, there were lies within the realm of everything else that is out there, and so you can not recognize that even to return, to ride and finish, is an accomplishment. To have been given what he had, and to disregard it with the brash wave of the hand is almost unholy.

Cancer is not to be fucked with. What it extent it played in all of this, and how, is not even being considered as a contributing factor, or a delineating one, and I find that not only tragic, but something that fully flies in the face of truth and convention. When someone is dealing with some pretty harsh shit, physical or mentally capable of killing more than just dreams or goldfish, it plays a role.

A big fucking role.

Here, what this fictional consideration looks at, is leagues ahead of the bullshit that Howard Lederer pulled in the online poker world, and I snapped watching all of his shit, I have some stuff I am going to micro ship as a rantella shortly. That is a blend of ranting mixed with some novella sizing to add a little love to the day/weekend. (*Fuck you buy a shitty paper on the street for $0.50 – slip a bro some change for some coffee would yeah, they took my medals too)

Well they tried to.
*wink*

So in order to prevent any of the sensitive crap from the likes of folks that may go apeshit when someone like Rolling Stone splashes me on the cover for being brilliant and delightfully intriguing and funny and all of that other bullshit we read in the fake Twitter bio’s, which are pretty “obvious” – like finding that swamp sinkhole it the back of the family cottage. Digging for gold.

Getting Armstruthtonged means reaching into a shit infested swamp, to try to bring out gold and riches for others, hoping they will not try to wipe that shit eating grin off your face and its fallacious representations. Continued half truth’s that have to be waxed on and waxed off between pelican poses on sandy shores in distant lands with huge mother fucking tongs, used to hopefully disguise your missing testicular soul mate.

Which is cool, I mean, if you got to roll that way.

As a uniBaller, or as either of the two characters introduced below, you know, as fictional and satirical prose.

Call it Feta Verité.

That is the way I would role, and if they had the chance to run corporate America, to be able to follow the same philosophy I saw last night, and will cap off tonight, the world would be a great fucking place.

*the re-enactment of the following dialogue is meant to convey the appearance of a drug fuelled acid trip, into Phukit looking for guerilla footage of the elusive fuqranauticus Salonica, a large white tower shaped vestibule on the shores of distant brines. Please note, the extension of the mind required to imagine a huge stone building just walking around “trying” to be elusive in any regard is significant and is not to be attempted by mental fuqranauts.

[table filled with Belgian chocolate dipped Twinkies, sparkling Eunuch Springs water bottles, and Iceberg Oysters*]

*Iceberg Oysters are also highly forbidden, but this batch was delivered by Dr. Hiandrye. They are gathered by forlorn Norwegian widows who have been implanted with precious audience participation gifts like aqualungs and Icarian GPS for one purpose. To harvest sveal balls from virgin, organic Arctic sea icebergs. A sveal must be between a particular age, and the more exotic one’s are marked on the snouts with exotic tribal tattoo depictions of bacon, hockey sticks and pine cones.

O. Pratatoe: The corporate team made you do it, 
but you still did it?
<slurps Iceberg Oysters, licks fingers>
Armstruth: I don’t want to say anything, but Ferrari – ummmm…
O. Pratatoe: Coke cans in the trash, admit liability?
Armstruth: Ummmmmm, nope.
O. Pratatoe: Dude, that is pretty fuqt.
<tucks a couple of the Iceberg’s away in the bra, winks to Camera FL-HD2>
Armstruth: Ummmmm, yeah.
<plucks nosehair, to shed a tear which made of diamonds crushed from the coal shoved up his ass from sponsors and crushed internally by his heart, and fired by lies, creating the perfect environment for synthetic diamond creation, the source of his wealth, and the black ops sponsor of fetaman.com the site, which is why my small descriptions of scene frames involve the same disregard for civility as teabaggin’ the UN Headquarters Main door entry knob, everyone would touch it and never know, right?>
O. Pratatoe: They said you all did that, and saw you.
Armstruth: Ummmmmm, potato.
O. Pratatoe: Seriously, are you telling me you can’t remember or this is some kind of Armstruthtongedian philosophy?
Armstruth: Oh, pratato?

THIS POSTS FREE O. PRATATOE LEARNING THINK SLOT GOES TO:

“Yeah, you even got the back seat closet in the Mini to prove you mean business -see that, that is a sock pouch. Know why? Cause when they sign with me, I leave ’em my socks. So they can remember me, as they will never see these feet again after I remove them from their ass that lovely mourn.”*
*spelling meant to evoke a response, and those of you that did not get that are required to go back, read that again, and then ignore this asterix until it is no longer relavant, or until this has been filled with more feta and unicorn dust.

*abide*