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Brinesanity – an abide jar, filled with all the fuqs given.

By

Mai Tie

Here is something to ponder.

What the fuck are you doing here? I mean, I am pretty sure of what I am doing. I can only say pretty sure, because nothing is absolute. It is constantly in a state of flex and change, and fucking hell – do you really think I am not aware of the stupidity? Including my own.

Shit in my life is real, and somehow, other’s seem to be at a point in their lives that theirs is required to be avoided, because it stinks so bad the only way to deal with it is to ignore it, like some kind of misery that is to be forgotten as a cause from their own actions and consequences.

Take a moment and sit back, reflect on the reality of it all.

Let it sink in, if it needs to.

Go on, you deserve it.

*smirk*

In deserving, there is more – there is an earned and blessed feeling.

Comfort is neither hot or cold, a smile or a laugh.

It is being in the moment and living it to understand the beauty, even in the tragedy of the falling of life by the wayside of Time. Accompanied by his alter-ego, Age, Time ensures you are aware that closer to it shall you go, but never to you will it come.

It does not need to, it is right there beside you as the most precious thing you hold in your life.

It is only a matter if you make it so.

Else, it will follow you on the miles you choose to own.

Looking around me today, the  sun is shining.
I am alive, and no longer hovering in a state of fear from a cancer.
My wealth is not defined by the numbers in any regard, but by a cerebral sutra that allows me to abide by anything that comes forth.

It sounds like a bunch of bullshit, and some kind of mysterious lame Duck Daced font mantra…
sure fucking thing sunshine, sure fucking thing.

Sure you got it all figured out, and are walking those miles.

I am going outside to do some lawn bowling today, and if anyone has got a problem with it they can fill in an official form, the FU-101 – it’s the blue one, right over there on the box, beside the unicorn having a coffee with Doug Henning and Moses.

“It’s spring time motherfucker, do you have it?” said Samuel.

I imagine he is smiling though, about to roll his bocci ball. It will be easy to spot, because the grass is only now starting to show the signs of the orange that most don’t know.

They see it as green.

green buckets, blue dog, Ellas car horns, Kola, decades pass, abide, fetaman.com, fetaman, iFeta, fetaChops, brinesanity

“There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy.” – Henry Miller

*abide*

By

Cheese Bakonnosaurus Crackers

“These cheese covered, bacon crackers are fully functioning magic heeling treats…when circumstances of disparate hunger, munchies or pixies demanded, lbs/kgs of bulk and beautiful bacon would be crisped, sharp teeth gnashing at the thought of what was to come…my Star Spangled Banner solo, was actually not only acid, it was the Bakonnosaurus treats…love that Fetaman…man…” Jimmy Hendrix, describing his Bakonnosaurus trips with Fetaman, Neil Young and Gordon Lightfoot

This is not for the faint of heart, or those that do not like massive amounts of cheese and bacon to be hoarded into their bodies for the afterlife. If you are one of these types that has no self-control, or can not handle things in moderation, with balance and other healthy choices, your decision to continue.

I am not forcing you to, but it may lead to some serious cholesterol issues if you are not responsible.

As a reward for ensuring you have worked out, or been good, or accomplished what you want, or simply as a reward for wanting to eat something incredible, take yourself back to the time when the roaming dinosaurs, needed to get a snack and even the herbivores fell for the old “it is really tofu bacon” trick that T-rex was infamous in using to lure them in.

(T-Rex was not like the old Canadian Club monkeys, he was loyal to the real kingdom, and Crown Royal)

You will need;

  • Bacon,
  • Feta cheese *or a crumble like cheese
  • White Cheddar, aged *or alternative you like
  • Virgin olive oil
  • Toothpicks
  • Dips at your discretion and desire

 

  1. The typical package, pre-cut, has about 18-20 slices. Let’s just slice them each down the middle, and you will now have 36 “crackers” once they have been crisped to your liking. I usually do not do this in a pan, too greasy, but if you want to – go ahead. I use the Fetaman grill (*wrestled George for the rights, but he was strong, and has so many kids, what do I need more fame for). The drippings allow for the bacon to stay the right kind of crispy, and depending on the size of the cuts (*you want smaller bites, cut them again, now you have 72 small pieces, or when combined, 36 bacon cluster sizes) will yield a crunchier or cheesier end product.
  2. One of my secrets is here, is that I will actually place half toothpicks (*yeah, that cheap, for fucks sake they are going to be thrown in the garbage) in half of the bacon pieces before they cool. It means, I can use them as pre-fabricated roofs for the Bakonnosaurus treats, and when the cheese all melts it is a perfect cocktail/party/movie/Twitterverse treat.
  3. You can then place a crumble cheese in the middle, I obviously use feta, or you can use a softer cheese, like the white cheddar. Using the crumble, but yet still melting cheese, provides a texture and taste that is a favorite, and seriously, this is not rocket science.
  4. Place the next piece of bacon on top of it, and some of the white cheddar to melt and cover it, as much or as little as you like.
  5. All into the oven for a quick broil and heat.
  6. Remove, and thank the universe for being alive.
  • Impress the ladies with your marinara sauce, a dickory dipped blend
  • Use them as toppings for salad, as a way of changing up that Caesar feel – make it your cottage, go to “secret recipe”
  • Change up the cheese, and prove it is your own
  • Want to prove you got the spirit of Fetaman in you? Dip in some thick beer batter mix after, and re-fry those babies. When they are ready, and golden they will be lifted from the fryer by angels sent from Pontius Munchius.
  • If you really want to get creative, get sliced pea meal or back bacon, and cut into shapes with a cookie cutter (*yeah, the excess whatever Einstein, chop the extra pieces into tiny bits and crisp for bacon bits?) and just don’t go ballistic with cheese, make them “cultured for the opera set, they love bacon too” (*ummm, hello, how you think those ladies became so able to sing so loud and proud in signaling the end of the show?)

If you have not all ready shut this post down, and are not making your way to the stash, then the fridge/grocery store, please do it now.

If you are not wanting to try to do this, or not daring enough (*ladies only) to send me pics of you cooking said bacon, in stockings and stilleto’s, topless and taunting the bacon to come ‘atchya – please, no need to come back…

…unless you bowl in the gulch.

*abide*