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Brinesanity – an abide jar, filled with all the fuqs given.

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Citizenship in a Gulch

Citizenship in a Republic. Theodore Roosevelt in 1910.

This man spoke about courage skill tenacity, the obligations of a man within a state of nature, and being able to understand that the dust, the sweat and blood – are the echoes of an effective natural existence, fighting to accomplish what one wants.

Representing a complete and total disdain for the way that society may have begun to think about ones obligations of acting within a republic, the democracy, the general establishment of society that represented many, many things a hundred years ago. The impact and the changes to the way that men and women react, understand, communicate, transmit and effectively fight within this arena that we choose to be in.

When we consider the concepts of ‘you are responsible for the happiness’, what is will unequivocally be what is according to your mindset.

The mind is a very dangerous beast if it is left untamed and unchecked; unsupported within the very confines of an arena the parameters that you set for controlling it. Our mind body and soul represent three different distinct parts of humans, and what we believe we’ve come into the earth with and what we leave this earth with. There are two doors in this life; one we come into alone, and another we leave alone. As a result, it’s not about the one who points out that the other has stumbled or done wrong and professes through exclamation to be a judge of those deeds that could have been done better.

It is most certainly not about the man who actually just does nothing but spectate and take joy from some of the misery that could be existing within this arena.

It’s a torment and a challenge, the overcoming of it because of your will and purpose, and what you want to do, that is what it is about. The quest for greatness, of your own creation and action.

People have two fundamental drivers, that is either to seek pleasure or to avoid pain, and the avoidance of pain seems to be the greater part of that. This is why watching another go through pain and struggle to accomplish things that you may agree on, makes them a hero. If they seem to accomplish it, despite their struggle, you admiration becomes the essence of high regard. You have avoided the pain, and seen another gain, so you have a synthetic role, a synthetic essence, in this gain. Invested of sorts, and reaping some rewards. Right?

No? You don’t think that it’s an essence that’s important or you think that it fastidious, and you are going to laugh and relish the challenges that are in the arena.

You can laugh, but I would beg to differ, and argue that the importance of the citizenship in the arena concept and the credit does belong to the man who actually is in the arena.

The man who is marred by dust and sweat and blood who strives valiantly knowing that he is going to come up short again and again. Knowing there is no effort without error and shortcomings or without learning.

That man, deserves more than just a “don’t try” reference that has been warmed over by the Nike ‘just do it!’ campaign. Or the mediawaved form “they will tell you over and over again, that you can’t do it” another popcorn bag famous Nike ad slogan, but you will just do it because you are the one who is actually going to strive to do the deeds, you are going to know the great enthusiasm and the devotion that it takes to get there. You are going to define and understand what that worthy cause is that you are undertaking and you are going to be the one and the only one that truly knows.

Others might best know of those that are around to select the knowing of the best, but you are the one that ultimately knows that the triumph of high achievement has nothing worse in it than failure, which is one of the greatest things a man can accomplish, knowing that he is going to fail while daring greatly, while doing things that are so extra ordinary that his place shall never be with the motherfucking pieces of shit that represent the cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

That is the probably one of the saddest things one can imagine – people not having those experiences, not being able to see the fine difference and the big difference in the way that they live their lives. In fact, how they choose to live the life.

James Allan wrote the classic book back in the 1800’s, a favourite of mine for 15+ years, and I have read it a number of times. It is a  small volume about being aware, a meditation of sorts and a reflection of the understanding and experience of your self.

It deals with such things as thought and character and circumstance and how you’re dealing with those circumstances and what the differences are on how that dealing with the circumstance reflects in your health. In “As a Man Thinketh”, Allan talks about men and women being about the virtue of the thoughts that they choose and encourage. They are the makers of themselves.

As you think, so your heart shall be directed.

When you sit in the room alone in the dark talking to yourself people might think that you are crazy. People might say “wow that’s pretty strange, what odd behavior, how obscure.” Because the number of those people is greater than the number that would do that, or that typically find solace or escape or a place, a happy place if you will, a personal arena to struggle within for their own sake, the one’s that do that are considered odd, strange or eccentric.

They don’t see it as such however, because they exist in that space, the person that does that in the dark – typing on keys and reflecting on things that can be shared and passed along to other people, not because they are planned or they represent certain parts of research where you are reading off cue cards, no, they are natural, they are part of how and who you are – they have shaped you.

Nobody can replicate or duplicate who you are. You choose to make who that person is. Your act is the blossoming of a thought. The joy or the suffering of whatever the fruit is that you bring out, the man will garner and reap what is sown in the sweet and bitter fields.

Not all fruit is sweet, not all vegetables are bitter, not all of the wafty scent of shit appeals to everybody. A good wet field of shit on a hot summer day produces a smile that only a farmer could love. That does not make that smile irrelevant, nor does it make that smell perfume, it all is a function of the relevance of where you are in your life and what you are doing to impact that to make it different. You are going to go through that arena.

As a man focuses on a seed that is germinated into the mind, the garden represents your mind as a fertile soil, so, any foul seed  like a tumor in the brain, could get to a point where that tumor is about to explode, because it has manifested itself, by being thought of, as something in the garden. The pop, a crack like a seed, thus beginning to grow.

The cracking of that has got to be a painful process, the outer layers break, rupturing and piercing, and from within, that great deal of pain becomes this enormous new part of growth. This new life, again, coming from what was nothing, before it was even a seed.

I watched a show the other week about some black woman Iyanla, on the Oprah Winfrey network, I am not a big fan never watched a full episode in my life but this Iyanla woman had an episode called “Fix Your Life” and a big 300 woman audience.  I had been given a call and told to “watch it now” – don’t ask please – and she was talking about how do women expect to be treated this way, and what are we doing that is really pushing away the people in our lives as opposed to engulfing them when we want these open relationships.

Talk about Robert Fucking Di Niro, and I know it will be impossible to have some of the boys appreciate what I am trying to say, but being able to articulate it with a bunch of the words so I don’t get cut off, and so that they can read it and see it in its entirety, that becomes a moment in time, and humour in and of itself.

Stop fucking laughing, yeah, I am making a baked tangent leap of faith back to this Iyanla woman. She’s older, bigger, not exactly “beautiful” and or “my type” by many stretches of other’s imagination, but I can tell you, from my perspective, I just fell in love with this woman’s IQ.

Her confidence, her humour, and her fight in the arena, as a single, older black woman that has had challenges with men and dating, she spoke wonderfully, and powerfully as she talked about the concept of “intimacy” being similar to the words “into-me-see.” Because intimacy doesn’t represent a loving intimacy just between lovers here as were talking about it, but it also represents how you deal with the world and those around you. These were powerful words, regardless from who they came, or what their story was. She may be a great performer, or she may have just lived a life that has blessed her with the truth, and the integrity of character to walk tall.

Truth is a spine breaker, or a life maker. Can’t walk tall without a straight, and true spine.

You are reflecting what is within you, and so you have to remove what issues are in you and address those shortcomings, those judgments. You have to change what goes into the garden, to get what come’s out of it. Fantastic stuff, and as I begun to write this, and allowed my thoughts to take me on this journey, I would have never assumed my journey would take me to including Roosevelt, Allan and Iyanla.

Well played Fetaman, well played. You urban metrocheesexual.

Wisdom of the ages, life as one big remix, it has all been said before – does not mean that new way of expressing old messages is not going to yield new insight. Experiences and expressions are like tiny books that you can share with others, and with each reading, there will be more you can see, or consider.

One example of translating this old wisdom, into modern lore, was an exercise where she asked a woman from the audience to stand in front of her cameraman, and she said “hey just stand in front of this guy, and pretend he’s the best man you have ever met in your life. This is the woman that you want to marry,” she said to the camera man as the audience chuckled. She had me in her spell, and I immediately allowed my mind to hear “hey, just stand in front of this woman, and pretend she’s the best woman you have ever met in your life.”

This is how I perceived her to say it, even though this was a woman talking to another woman about a relationship with a man, I turned it into my experiences with former loves, and one in particular.

What are the things that are causing you to have issues with her? She rhymes off three things will this man be there for me will he trust me will he be faithful, does he love me for who I am?

Whatever that all was exactly, it doesn’t matter, Iyanla just had her step back. She asked more questions, and more “definitions” or “road blocks to acknowledging anything great could happen” cause this woman to step back, and back. She finally stepped back so far that she almost fell off the stage. Beautiful woman, really beauty attractive but just fucking strange and dark, I didn’t find her loving. In fact, I found her frightening as a person, let alone as a man.

If I could have a date with either of those two, it would be Iyanla in a heartbeat. Sexually it was the one she had on the stage, just this gorgeous specimen of a woman would say the typical moron. Well, that would confirm why we can label him as a self inflicted, cerebral gunshot to the cranium logicus. This “sexual specimen”, had gone through 129 dating profiles of men and accepted a second date with one. That has got to be a sign of some other things, and I can tell you, the physical side of attraction can be very easily accommodated by a mature self, but a mature self can never tolerate an ignorant or weak mind. It can love one, if that has been an act of God, if the universe has brought a challenge to another human, that love will be pure. But to love, be attracted to, or even want to aid an ignorant or weak minded person of their own making, is a skill set I find very difficult to hone.

Choice. All about choice, and where you want to be in your arena. All about being aware of what you are putting into the garden, and why you are getting out what you do. In today’s world, there is a lot of add water and mix, press button and heat intelligence, but it will never replace the benefits, and the nutrients that come from the natural, hand worked, pride taken, intent given, garden. Ever.

Some of my ramblings on what it’s like to be a plant in the garden, or some diversions about what it’s like to be the man in the arena- fighting for what it is that you believe in, and being aware of what it is you believe in.

Knowing that the seeds that you plant in your mind are going to be reaped, sown and toiled upon, in fertile soil and nutrition, all in an order, that has it grow. Having sunshine and water, food and minerals in the soil, all tools that provide stability for the plant to grow. This tree of life that sprouts, and will be what it is within us, not so different from the tools and the weapons used by the man in the arena, to provide for his own reward. A life.

The garden, the arena, they are both one and the same. Of a sort, I would say, in another way, I would defer to other points but for now, I can extend a final thought, if you will indulge me with but a fragment more of your attention.

The thoughts in the mind that made us who we are, and if those thoughts encompass a belief you can take all of the ingredients you need to make the perfect garden, or the right items needed to win in the arena, that you have all of the critical elements, you should be able to just make anything happen, you are wrong.

One could argue, that it would make sense for someone to take all of the water and sunshine that a seed may require to grow throughout its lifetime, and just give it to it all at once. With all this water and sunshine and food, would that seedling grow into a tree immediately?

The intelligent child knows this, and most certainly an aged adult would know that it would not, in fact we know that we would probably kill it, we would mar it with blood and sweat and tears.

It would not know victory; its defeat would be the very demise of its ability to live and to thrive, simply because you have tried to help.

No, you can’t do that, or you should not, as the most important part of living and growing and of thinking like a man does, being in this arena, is understanding a constant that none of us can really control, so much as we can mitigate, partitioning a proactive way. It is like following a tide, or a current, understanding where that tides is going to take you and letting it take you there.

Things happen for a reason and they always happen over a span of time. What those reasons are will not be influenced by time, so much as constrained by it, and your actions.

Time is the one most important critical foundation to building of that tower of Babel, on your own.

I have changed my tower. It is now an Abide Pirgo, my own homage to the White Tower of Thessaloniki. It is a tower fortified with my own blood, sweat and tears, binding an abide that no matter what it is that you do it the foundation of it, the establishment and engulfment of the very essence of this tower in of itself, is the hole that none can penetrate, and in the case of many, a hole they can not construct, and if they could, a whole they would likely not be able to get out of.

This is time.

The most precious critical aspect of how you are undertaking your life, whether you are taking advantage of time or you waste it.

It remains the most critical constant in all things living. Without it, there is no life.

Life is to be lived and enjoyed and shared. Find empathy for those men and women in the arena, working the productive and shared gardens, understanding them for who they are, and embracing that as a loving attitude.

An actual attitude, a “love” that is an extent of what you can do for yourself, and if you can do that, and are interested, you can do that right across the fields, for everyone, in the gulch.

I would, and do. In my way, on my way.

I am just simple man, made of cheese, doing.

*abide*

One Response to Citizenship in a Gulch

  1. Pingback: Armstruth "I am just a good fella" | fetaman.comfetaman.com

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