Brinesanity – an abide jar, filled with all the fuqs given.


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Citizenship in a Gulch

Citizenship in a Republic. Theodore Roosevelt in 1910.

This man spoke about courage skill tenacity, the obligations of a man within a state of nature, and being able to understand that the dust, the sweat and blood – are the echoes of an effective natural existence, fighting to accomplish what one wants.

Representing a complete and total disdain for the way that society may have begun to think about ones obligations of acting within a republic, the democracy, the general establishment of society that represented many, many things a hundred years ago. The impact and the changes to the way that men and women react, understand, communicate, transmit and effectively fight within this arena that we choose to be in.

When we consider the concepts of ‘you are responsible for the happiness’, what is will unequivocally be what is according to your mindset.

The mind is a very dangerous beast if it is left untamed and unchecked; unsupported within the very confines of an arena the parameters that you set for controlling it. Our mind body and soul represent three different distinct parts of humans, and what we believe we’ve come into the earth with and what we leave this earth with. There are two doors in this life; one we come into alone, and another we leave alone. As a result, it’s not about the one who points out that the other has stumbled or done wrong and professes through exclamation to be a judge of those deeds that could have been done better.

It is most certainly not about the man who actually just does nothing but spectate and take joy from some of the misery that could be existing within this arena.

It’s a torment and a challenge, the overcoming of it because of your will and purpose, and what you want to do, that is what it is about. The quest for greatness, of your own creation and action.

People have two fundamental drivers, that is either to seek pleasure or to avoid pain, and the avoidance of pain seems to be the greater part of that. This is why watching another go through pain and struggle to accomplish things that you may agree on, makes them a hero. If they seem to accomplish it, despite their struggle, you admiration becomes the essence of high regard. You have avoided the pain, and seen another gain, so you have a synthetic role, a synthetic essence, in this gain. Invested of sorts, and reaping some rewards. Right?

No? You don’t think that it’s an essence that’s important or you think that it fastidious, and you are going to laugh and relish the challenges that are in the arena.

You can laugh, but I would beg to differ, and argue that the importance of the citizenship in the arena concept and the credit does belong to the man who actually is in the arena.

The man who is marred by dust and sweat and blood who strives valiantly knowing that he is going to come up short again and again. Knowing there is no effort without error and shortcomings or without learning.

That man, deserves more than just a “don’t try” reference that has been warmed over by the Nike ‘just do it!’ campaign. Or the mediawaved form “they will tell you over and over again, that you can’t do it” another popcorn bag famous Nike ad slogan, but you will just do it because you are the one who is actually going to strive to do the deeds, you are going to know the great enthusiasm and the devotion that it takes to get there. You are going to define and understand what that worthy cause is that you are undertaking and you are going to be the one and the only one that truly knows.

Others might best know of those that are around to select the knowing of the best, but you are the one that ultimately knows that the triumph of high achievement has nothing worse in it than failure, which is one of the greatest things a man can accomplish, knowing that he is going to fail while daring greatly, while doing things that are so extra ordinary that his place shall never be with the motherfucking pieces of shit that represent the cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

That is the probably one of the saddest things one can imagine – people not having those experiences, not being able to see the fine difference and the big difference in the way that they live their lives. In fact, how they choose to live the life.

James Allan wrote the classic book back in the 1800’s, a favourite of mine for 15+ years, and I have read it a number of times. It is a  small volume about being aware, a meditation of sorts and a reflection of the understanding and experience of your self.

It deals with such things as thought and character and circumstance and how you’re dealing with those circumstances and what the differences are on how that dealing with the circumstance reflects in your health. In “As a Man Thinketh”, Allan talks about men and women being about the virtue of the thoughts that they choose and encourage. They are the makers of themselves.

As you think, so your heart shall be directed.

When you sit in the room alone in the dark talking to yourself people might think that you are crazy. People might say “wow that’s pretty strange, what odd behavior, how obscure.” Because the number of those people is greater than the number that would do that, or that typically find solace or escape or a place, a happy place if you will, a personal arena to struggle within for their own sake, the one’s that do that are considered odd, strange or eccentric.

They don’t see it as such however, because they exist in that space, the person that does that in the dark – typing on keys and reflecting on things that can be shared and passed along to other people, not because they are planned or they represent certain parts of research where you are reading off cue cards, no, they are natural, they are part of how and who you are – they have shaped you.

Nobody can replicate or duplicate who you are. You choose to make who that person is. Your act is the blossoming of a thought. The joy or the suffering of whatever the fruit is that you bring out, the man will garner and reap what is sown in the sweet and bitter fields.

Not all fruit is sweet, not all vegetables are bitter, not all of the wafty scent of shit appeals to everybody. A good wet field of shit on a hot summer day produces a smile that only a farmer could love. That does not make that smile irrelevant, nor does it make that smell perfume, it all is a function of the relevance of where you are in your life and what you are doing to impact that to make it different. You are going to go through that arena.

As a man focuses on a seed that is germinated into the mind, the garden represents your mind as a fertile soil, so, any foul seed  like a tumor in the brain, could get to a point where that tumor is about to explode, because it has manifested itself, by being thought of, as something in the garden. The pop, a crack like a seed, thus beginning to grow.

The cracking of that has got to be a painful process, the outer layers break, rupturing and piercing, and from within, that great deal of pain becomes this enormous new part of growth. This new life, again, coming from what was nothing, before it was even a seed.

I watched a show the other week about some black woman Iyanla, on the Oprah Winfrey network, I am not a big fan never watched a full episode in my life but this Iyanla woman had an episode called “Fix Your Life” and a big 300 woman audience.  I had been given a call and told to “watch it now” – don’t ask please – and she was talking about how do women expect to be treated this way, and what are we doing that is really pushing away the people in our lives as opposed to engulfing them when we want these open relationships.

Talk about Robert Fucking Di Niro, and I know it will be impossible to have some of the boys appreciate what I am trying to say, but being able to articulate it with a bunch of the words so I don’t get cut off, and so that they can read it and see it in its entirety, that becomes a moment in time, and humour in and of itself.

Stop fucking laughing, yeah, I am making a baked tangent leap of faith back to this Iyanla woman. She’s older, bigger, not exactly “beautiful” and or “my type” by many stretches of other’s imagination, but I can tell you, from my perspective, I just fell in love with this woman’s IQ.

Her confidence, her humour, and her fight in the arena, as a single, older black woman that has had challenges with men and dating, she spoke wonderfully, and powerfully as she talked about the concept of “intimacy” being similar to the words “into-me-see.” Because intimacy doesn’t represent a loving intimacy just between lovers here as were talking about it, but it also represents how you deal with the world and those around you. These were powerful words, regardless from who they came, or what their story was. She may be a great performer, or she may have just lived a life that has blessed her with the truth, and the integrity of character to walk tall.

Truth is a spine breaker, or a life maker. Can’t walk tall without a straight, and true spine.

You are reflecting what is within you, and so you have to remove what issues are in you and address those shortcomings, those judgments. You have to change what goes into the garden, to get what come’s out of it. Fantastic stuff, and as I begun to write this, and allowed my thoughts to take me on this journey, I would have never assumed my journey would take me to including Roosevelt, Allan and Iyanla.

Well played Fetaman, well played. You urban metrocheesexual.

Wisdom of the ages, life as one big remix, it has all been said before – does not mean that new way of expressing old messages is not going to yield new insight. Experiences and expressions are like tiny books that you can share with others, and with each reading, there will be more you can see, or consider.

One example of translating this old wisdom, into modern lore, was an exercise where she asked a woman from the audience to stand in front of her cameraman, and she said “hey just stand in front of this guy, and pretend he’s the best man you have ever met in your life. This is the woman that you want to marry,” she said to the camera man as the audience chuckled. She had me in her spell, and I immediately allowed my mind to hear “hey, just stand in front of this woman, and pretend she’s the best woman you have ever met in your life.”

This is how I perceived her to say it, even though this was a woman talking to another woman about a relationship with a man, I turned it into my experiences with former loves, and one in particular.

What are the things that are causing you to have issues with her? She rhymes off three things will this man be there for me will he trust me will he be faithful, does he love me for who I am?

Whatever that all was exactly, it doesn’t matter, Iyanla just had her step back. She asked more questions, and more “definitions” or “road blocks to acknowledging anything great could happen” cause this woman to step back, and back. She finally stepped back so far that she almost fell off the stage. Beautiful woman, really beauty attractive but just fucking strange and dark, I didn’t find her loving. In fact, I found her frightening as a person, let alone as a man.

If I could have a date with either of those two, it would be Iyanla in a heartbeat. Sexually it was the one she had on the stage, just this gorgeous specimen of a woman would say the typical moron. Well, that would confirm why we can label him as a self inflicted, cerebral gunshot to the cranium logicus. This “sexual specimen”, had gone through 129 dating profiles of men and accepted a second date with one. That has got to be a sign of some other things, and I can tell you, the physical side of attraction can be very easily accommodated by a mature self, but a mature self can never tolerate an ignorant or weak mind. It can love one, if that has been an act of God, if the universe has brought a challenge to another human, that love will be pure. But to love, be attracted to, or even want to aid an ignorant or weak minded person of their own making, is a skill set I find very difficult to hone.

Choice. All about choice, and where you want to be in your arena. All about being aware of what you are putting into the garden, and why you are getting out what you do. In today’s world, there is a lot of add water and mix, press button and heat intelligence, but it will never replace the benefits, and the nutrients that come from the natural, hand worked, pride taken, intent given, garden. Ever.

Some of my ramblings on what it’s like to be a plant in the garden, or some diversions about what it’s like to be the man in the arena- fighting for what it is that you believe in, and being aware of what it is you believe in.

Knowing that the seeds that you plant in your mind are going to be reaped, sown and toiled upon, in fertile soil and nutrition, all in an order, that has it grow. Having sunshine and water, food and minerals in the soil, all tools that provide stability for the plant to grow. This tree of life that sprouts, and will be what it is within us, not so different from the tools and the weapons used by the man in the arena, to provide for his own reward. A life.

The garden, the arena, they are both one and the same. Of a sort, I would say, in another way, I would defer to other points but for now, I can extend a final thought, if you will indulge me with but a fragment more of your attention.

The thoughts in the mind that made us who we are, and if those thoughts encompass a belief you can take all of the ingredients you need to make the perfect garden, or the right items needed to win in the arena, that you have all of the critical elements, you should be able to just make anything happen, you are wrong.

One could argue, that it would make sense for someone to take all of the water and sunshine that a seed may require to grow throughout its lifetime, and just give it to it all at once. With all this water and sunshine and food, would that seedling grow into a tree immediately?

The intelligent child knows this, and most certainly an aged adult would know that it would not, in fact we know that we would probably kill it, we would mar it with blood and sweat and tears.

It would not know victory; its defeat would be the very demise of its ability to live and to thrive, simply because you have tried to help.

No, you can’t do that, or you should not, as the most important part of living and growing and of thinking like a man does, being in this arena, is understanding a constant that none of us can really control, so much as we can mitigate, partitioning a proactive way. It is like following a tide, or a current, understanding where that tides is going to take you and letting it take you there.

Things happen for a reason and they always happen over a span of time. What those reasons are will not be influenced by time, so much as constrained by it, and your actions.

Time is the one most important critical foundation to building of that tower of Babel, on your own.

I have changed my tower. It is now an Abide Pirgo, my own homage to the White Tower of Thessaloniki. It is a tower fortified with my own blood, sweat and tears, binding an abide that no matter what it is that you do it the foundation of it, the establishment and engulfment of the very essence of this tower in of itself, is the hole that none can penetrate, and in the case of many, a hole they can not construct, and if they could, a whole they would likely not be able to get out of.

This is time.

The most precious critical aspect of how you are undertaking your life, whether you are taking advantage of time or you waste it.

It remains the most critical constant in all things living. Without it, there is no life.

Life is to be lived and enjoyed and shared. Find empathy for those men and women in the arena, working the productive and shared gardens, understanding them for who they are, and embracing that as a loving attitude.

An actual attitude, a “love” that is an extent of what you can do for yourself, and if you can do that, and are interested, you can do that right across the fields, for everyone, in the gulch.

I would, and do. In my way, on my way.

I am just simple man, made of cheese, doing.



Shadows of a cell

She has become more aware of her own mortality I believe, and like myself, we have walked a line that comes with a reflection on our lives lived to date, and how moving forward, we will not only do the lip service we preach, but in fact, we must do so with an honesty, and a vigor, that is dare I say it, vicious. Hurtful, demanding, selfish…but true…

Truth can hurt, it can be a killer – if you are not ready for it, not strong enough, not respecting it enough, yourself enough, the bringer of it. The bringing of truth that may be counter to your own opinion will indeed be cast with a shadow of reservation, and the blade that casts that shadow can run, and cut deep. If it is used, as a surgeon yields the passive steel to mark it, wield a will and a cold purpose. That purpose may not be so cold, or so unwilling to accept stain, if it stains for the feeding of the soul, or to gut the beast that lays before it, in order to provide for the family.

The old adage of knowing that only a true friend will tell you if there is dirt on your face, is a testament to the power of truth. The magnetic pull of it, creating a state of being. Other’s may laugh, or scoff and not even say anything, perhaps even just try to use the subtle gesture of the eyes, or look away, hoping somehow, you will be able to see that dirt yourself.

Sometimes you can, sometimes you can’t – right?

No, you are wrong my friend.

You can never see the dirt on your face. You will only see the reflection of it in the mirror, and that is not the “actual” dirt, it is just a reflection of it, perceived by your senses, to you ensure you accept the dirt for whatever relevant observation you need it for.

If I love and cherish my truest living best friend, and I see that dirt for what it is, I will tell her what I see, and then respect what she wants to do with it.

It’s hers, so she chooses, and as a loving friend, that wants the best for her, I will respect that. It may not be easy, and it has been a wild life to get me, but hell – if I can’t or won’t do this for her, who will I do it for?

Life as you get older tends to really bring out the reality of what it means, and you get to really start to see what you want to do, you just have less time to accomplish it, so you better get busy living, cause being busy dying – that is a fools game.

I hit my own notes, I will determine when my trip ends.

Like Hunter, I will raise my fist, flip the bird and choose the end.

But not before finding the joy in my life, and knowing everyone that I want to.

I think one need not be overwhelmed with a way, or even knowing what exactly that way may be, until you know what you want your life content to be, and how it will look, read, and what the call to action/inter-action will be for the audience you seek, to admire that. Some of us, have an audience of one, and this self imposed narcissism is evident in all tabs of the reference manual sought.

You need to be “active” as a living person, and there is a hell of a lot of work to do it wonderfully, and it is multiplied by each “administrative” task that you have to do, that will never be seen or praised by anyone, to ensure you have selflessly served up something worth being part of, for the people out there that are literally nuclear missile attacked by media, content, writing, music, art, life, wives, doobs, Crown Royal, look a dog, hmmmm, I want a look at some of the pretty pictures.

Life has got us all running around so hectic, and frazzled, but numb by pharma-metrics, so we do not see the forest for the trees.



Protected: Zove

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Bear abide

You know what you are? You’re like a big bear with claws and with fangs…

…big fucking teeth, man.

Yeah… big fuckin’ teeth on ya’. And she’s just like this little bunny, who’s just kinda cowering in the corner.


Yeah, man just kinda… you know, you got these claws and you’re staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you’re thinking, “How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?”

And you’re poking at it, you’re poking at it…

Yeah, you’re not hurting it. You’re just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny’s scared Mike, the bunny’s scared of you, shivering.

And you got these fucking claws and these fangs…

And you got these fucking claws and these fangs, man! And you’re looking at your claws and you’re looking at your fangs. And you’re thinking to yourself, you don’t know what to do, man. “I don’t know how to kill the bunny.” With *this* you don’t know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?

You’re like a big bear, man.

J. Larry Carrot:
So you’re not just like fucking with me?

No. I’m not fucking with you.

Honestly, man.




Cumulative Momentum

fetaman, brinesanity, abide, fetaism, dalai feta, dude abides, fetacabulary

The above diagram is the second diagram, of the same title as this post. The first, is in the picture gallery on the right of the site, if you have not wandered that, you may be missing some of the foundation that I used for some international level training regarding the solutions that can change, as a result of the problems changing, and being defined as something entirely different than what they were at the outset. Interestingly enough, it subscribed to my fundamental outlook on life, but was something that I was too busy illustrating, and not spending enough time acting upon.

When we first discover problems, assuming we can at least acknowledge that they begin to happen when they do, there is a leap of faith, an awareness, you are of a sound mind, have the mental capacities to play in the game, and are willing to stretch the boundary of some conventional thought. We act according to a set of principles and adherences to ourselves that are, more often than not, dictated by others. That is to say, you will act, or behave according to the conventions that have been taught, grasped or demanded of you.

This is common sense.

This is the way of the world, and there is no one that can argue, that the above assumptions are indeed the principles by which you will look to resolve the problems, or the issues in your life. What is unique is the way that the visualization is like some kind of sticky note that demands that no one call 911.

This is a diagram of my life, and of my way of thinking, and I shall decide the length of the game the totality of that moment when an action is taken. I have become hyper-keenly aware of the repercussions of my actions, and perhaps this is a gift.

It all will be what it is, by the way that I perceive the benefit of the “gift” as a good and valued benefit, an outcome of sorts, or a bad and treacherous, ill received “curse”. In either case, it will have a next, or additional action that is relevant at that second, and so I will either dwell on this gift, or curse the existence of it, moving forward as I deal with the newest problem/issue/address simultaneously.

Else you recognize, that even if you believe, accept and act according to what I just stated, that you are going to be “moving on” anyway, so why not accept it, and look at the new conditions in front of you?

Assuming you can, of course.

Here is where the focus, the decisiveness of the way you want to handle things, and being truly honest and real about them, is what is going to make the difference in how your life is lived, and in fact, how you put a series of the above illustrations, and the combined pair of them, into the seamless tale that you create about your place, and the gulch around you.

When you discover problems, or become aware of them, your mind will naturally, through education of the human experience of living, file them into a certain category. Consider yourself one that is aware of the Hierarchy of Needs, and can file them into a certain category. It will do this over a period of time this becomes the Delta (*change, or duration period) over which you will form the actions and the opinions on these “problems”.

For the sake of simplicity, let’s assume there are three of them for now. There are 3 circles in the diagram that represent these problems.

Logic dictates now, that whether these are about business, or life, or love, or survival, or a movie you want to see, or as we all know, in living, any of these thousands and millions of “shapes” or problems we go through in our life, so any combination of them accordingly. What is unique about them all, is that they all start out as a “circle” or a bubble, and this comes the second the “circle” is acknowledged by the mind, having been given a tap on the meat mass by the senses, in ways we shall not dive into today, that is for another extension, and an obvious one at that.

(*side note – what I love about writing, reading, creating, sharing – being in the company of other’s like me and discovering a gulch of our making, and living it to the fullest – is the ability to entertain such thoughts, and have conversations of importance and relevance with the intent of making my life a better, and wealthier place, in ways, that only some truly embrace and welcome as a way that has been calling for a lifetime, but only now has been fully enabled to be open and available to the glory of the gulch.)

These 3 circles, or whatever that larger number is, are all automatically processed and change shape, even are reconsidered new characters, and for the sake of simplicity, let’s just assume we are limited to the standard QWERTY characters, and symbols available. Still hundreds of options there, and each one of them can be considered a variable. Some kind of cerebral integer that can be equated to a mathematical formula(e), to a logical argument, to a visual and symbolic depiction of facts, as based on the assumptions provided by someone, or a collection of someone’s, a group, perhaps even *gasp*…society? Yes, even society is a visual one.

*points to signs and symbols in life, smacks forehead*

In the initial diagram, we see that Circle-3 remains relatively the same, Circle-1 becomes a little smaller but remains a circle, and Circle-2 has completely changed into Triangle-B. The “state” of these problems, now has travelled along some kind of time continuum, limited or broad, defined by the relevant action (*life, sales call, school project, eating, sex, everything is a logical thought, and an internal logical argument – the challenge is the sheer number of fuqtards in the world that can not grasp it, or want to, so you must accept as a monk travelling the way of abide, that you are just going to have to watch nature be nature) and been re-assessed, instantly in fact, by the mind. The range, or the number of these types of circles and complexities will be a function of how the experiences and formal education by the proclaimed institutions of value, or the collective social conventions that we have been willing to accept as individuals, have shaped our awareness. If you are not as aware as you think others are, I can still assure you that your awareness of self, and of your own abilities, is a miracle and will require your own undivided attention to live to the fullest so let’s stay there.

How is this relevant for you?

Well, what is relevant is that you also discover Square-A, and that was not even there or part of the original 3 at all. It completely appeared, from where?

Out of the blue?

Manifested by magic?

Floated into your life by the unicorn dust that smells of Parisian can-can girls, and wines grown just for you?

No, it was something that was out there you had just not considered it in this form. You had not visualized it, as something that needed attention, in addition to the issues at hand. You thought, that if merely looked at the 3 circles, you would be ok. Your tasks at hand, your collective tasks forming hours, the unionized hours forming days of commitment, all plugged into the piggy bank of Uber-savings Inc., all forming your life and it would be ok.

Why did this “big box” have to come and bother me?
Why did it come to make me a victim?

I know, getting a little off track with some of the social commentary, but sorry, that is just kind of the way that I write, like I might speak, or engage in a conversation – and yes, there can be tangents and side walks, literally side walking or stumbling, or rambling – but fuck, life is a trip and that is the way it is, so why can my small walk off the path of logic not be seen as a pleasant divergence, I promise it will converge back to the segue way of the second picture, and how that ties back into the concept of cumulative momentum.

We got some small foundations laid with the initial picture, and explaining how all it really symbolizes the typical, knowing, aware thinker synthesizing the information that is being presented to them in life. That “they” (*shapes) are seen, then we discover what they really mean, and begin to determine their importance based on size, and impacts. We do this over a period of time, and based on our abilities to attend to the needs, values and benefits accordingly.


We have effectively gotten to the point, where you should be able to nod your head and say, yes, we have at least defined what the shapes look like and filed them into a primary system of understanding. This system begins with the living and human level, making some people more capable even here, than others. It is also founded on non-restrictive abilities, it is only a subjective classification of objective parameters that will restrict, based on the definitions of living, physically and spiritually being what is the social convention of the deemed social parameters. It includes intelligence, based on the surrounding environment, and your self and externally defined roles.

The shapes, the problems, the living acceptance of this, if one is capable of accepting, will follow this format of understanding. This applies to the physical, the cognitive and the spiritual classifications.

They all start at one point, and grow in relevance as they impact and near, and form a horizon of a future that must be considered.

Cerebral abide, allows one to take the way that you have defined things, and refines them according to two of the fundamental drivers of decisions that the innate questioning a human follows;

  • How relevant is the scope of time?
  • What actions, are to be taken, based on that time horizon and my own defined needs/benefits/results?

*Feta tangent: Seems to make a lot of sense, in fact, there would be a lot more to be said if I had the ability to move beyond this kind of introduction, and into some of my other writing and observations, and with no other regard than my own selfish interest in learning, speaking, surviving the way I want to, but I have to make a point of trying to have other’s that can appreciate what I am saying, say so, and I have to make sure I am putting my thoughts and words out there in an effort to have some of the musk attract a walking monk on our way.

In the gulch, we are all monks. There is no differentiation based on sexual organs, or sexual interests. Sapiosexual abide. There is just the gulch, and the way in, is only with intelligence and effort. They are mutually inclusive, and their parameters are not.

In the second diagram, Cerebral Abide, we see all of the actions have been placed into triangles, because they can symbolize a spearhead, or a point, a pyramid, a hierarchy, a need to get to a conclusive point, and then move on. So they are very relevant to action items. The ones that are at the front, are the one’s that are most pressing. They can be scaled, according to how they are handled in the immediate future, and either be dealt with, or moved further back for another time, when they become relevant again. In the diagram, we see that Triangle-A, T-B, and T-C all are in the “Now”. Wonder why the now is the biggest box, and it seems to be an inverted triangle of sorts? (*if I had to point this out, and you have still been following, please just close the page now…)

T-D and T-E then form the “Soon” box, and they are not only foreseeable in the near future but they remain in the back pocket, for quick access and solution or address. They are considered important enough to be on your person, or at top of mind, and like the mental checklist of your day, you can place a small mark beside them, when they too have changed shape, and are addressed. You can take a logical progression of how you would “mind-map” this stuff.

(*Me, I have decades of writing and all in hand, back in the day when we had to write outside with chisels and elk blood…ok, not really elk blood, but since my early writing took on the form of mechanical pencils and pens, graduating to my current instruments, meant all of my mind maps, decades. Form and poetry of logic, perhaps, my singular most important accomplishments to date, all of them, all of it, my own personal miracles – beautiful, to me, you can decide accordingly.*flips quarter* Pretend it is a fuck I gave, and keep it, or put in the jar with the others…)

T-F:I is a head scratcher for me. These are the targets further down the path. This is that odd parable about distance always being halved mathematically, and yet the arrow hit’s the target. We know that the there is a physical place when this number is so small that it physically occurs, and much the same way, we know that these small nagging problems that are back of mind, and not part of the now or soon boxes. They may never “hit” or come to the forefront, so we may not address them.

The putting off of these boxes, and how they are classified, and what they hold and mean – it is the difference between getting busy living, or staying busy surviving.

What – that’s it? Going to leave it at that?
Why are those boxes inverted?
What about the contents of the shapes?
Do those places, and spaces for more words and actions?
How about colors?

Can we use colors, in addition to the shapes, and in addition to the characters and in addition to the…maybe…maybe leaving it at that for now is the way I roll today…

Welcome to my world.

Just a simple man, made of cheese.
Looking around, and smiling.

Brinesanity, owning my miles.

Finding beauty in the mundane.
Shroud of foggy abide covering the peak.
Happy to be alive, enjoyin’ the ride.
Tank full of infinite logic, an eternity to glide on this rug.
So, seriously fuckin’ ties the room together.




Stench Of A Businessman: Culture of Gus Achilles

Gus, is not an evil selfish person. According to him, he is a well meaning, altruistically motivated person – one of a decent man, following the American dream. Hoping that the caress of steel that motivated his ancestors will provide the insight into the progressive victimization he defines as a cultural phenomenon, affirmations he has been tooled to measure the success of his life with.

Cookies and treats provided for the sheer hard work that would fuel “gain”. He like any man is able to acquire professional success and exult the personal gains. This remains a pillar of the foundation of modern society, simply put, encouraging the production of selfish drones that will go through the motions and to any extent, to accomplish the “dream”. The dream, as it is defined by Gus, is a result of the inputs – environment, abilities, action, mission accomplished.

This is what your life has become, thought Gus.

He had always thought that he was happy. He had accomplished the “dream”, and he had done it from the threads found in the socks darned together from sale. Nothing went to waste in his house, and the history of his life had him striving to work at levels that were almost unbelievable. If there were not other machines to affirm that the hours were logged, there would be few that would find the ability to crush 360 hours in a month, for decades, at a rate that oscillates minds and organs, usually at octaves that would provide pleasure to many, a pitch that was pleasing to the trained ear. To the “wise’ ears. This is what sounded like the accomplishment of the dream, and a life that Gus had always wanted to prove he was capable of living.

Gus proclaimed he did not care about the amount of money he earns, all that he really cares about is that he enjoys his work. He was able to do what he could, and was a hired assassin of sorts. He would sculpt with his hands rejections of the American dream as defined by another, and define his success upon the merits which pock marked the pages that illustrated the relevant information, to the identifying party. Man or machine.

Gus, all of the accomplishments, all of the things that he valued, tended to be parchments waiting to turn to dust. Passing the turnstile of his days with eye’s looking at the hands cynically speeding towards another goal of greed and want. Measured by the milestones of travel-work-rest. There seemed to be little else that was not in one of those categories. Gus only thought of rest, as the need to feed him self and to sleep enough to move forward with the power and the force he was needed to engage in. He lived, for this reason – engaging in the battles he needed to rage each day, not for the personal growth in self or care of his vessel. These were noble things, to give his self and his soul, his life, to the bettering of the production, of the team he was playing for.

The common man is the quitter, and failure is the cause for the demise of the dream, and it was his role to prove that not only was this the case, but that he was a better man for recognizing it, and a better man for ensuring that this was the case. His quest to improve his lot in life was not the mutual and moral growth of humanity. It was to ensure the success of his clients, at their will and discretion, and to ensure his growth, with them. This evolution of intelligence would wave the Darwinian wand magically, and all would go the way of the aggregation methodology employed to subjectively measure the use of assets as fundamental revenue, fiscal modes of the dream generation in effect.

Deception and devastation were avoided at all costs as a public discourse. The latter a personal journey that had to be handled in whatever capacity that was, fermented or harvested, but still commoditized for the sake of distribution and measurement. The former was just a fact of life, the important one in fact, for it was the ability to mask this with intelligence, or neglect it because of self-inflicted ignorance or the pure lack of physical and mental capacities.

He stared at the large rubber sphere in his hand, and knew this was the turning point in his life. The small drops of red washed from the black rubber into the flames as they snapped and crackled. Each seemed to be another statement, a small requiem.

It was very common practice to use a rubber ball like that. The apparatus was not that very complicated, it involved the strands of logic that formed the fulcrum trajectory based on the strength of the “rope” the logic formed, and the rubber ball was the pure mass of “truth” that was required, the weight of which was measured by the elements of business within the structured chart. This was the physical law, and these were the ways by which his ancestors had fought for survival, and so today, he too, would employ just a new variation of it.

One that would see the blunt force trauma eventually surrender the signature, with feeble eye’s medicated by the “pharmacures” that proclaimed them happy and content. Once this was accomplished, there were only the final blows required to finish the project engagement.

There would be nothing left soon.

All of the materials are burnt, and blackened, tears into the water, never to be seen again.

Gus, stood at the water a long time, smiling.

Awareness comes at a cost, and the burden of it was not as they might have thought, so much as it was a blessing for Gus.

Cancer saved his life.



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Finger Jedi

We all at one point grew to the age, where the old fashioned finger bang was the epitome of the greatest achievement a young boy could claim. He was aware of what this magical cavern was able to provide, and he was amazed and astounded at how the power of this “force”, this creation of something that was just natural, and only now was being harnessed for the good of the Obi Wang Kfap-obi. The silent ok, was all ok, as you all knew the elements of the right and the wrong.

Later in life, we  replaced the fingerbang with a move that was more of the Jedi version, the Finger Jedi. The ability to use this pulsating finger, to control large boardrooms of people, slowly whispering “t’ain’t it a great day” with the hint of an Irish Spring shillelagh. Clubbing minds with the subtlety of a pleasant walk, smiling, knowing where you are going. You do, you are a Finger Jedi.

The tell tale sign of being able to actually know the move is successful? Smells of bacon and marshmallow’s fill the air, and the sounds of cotton, long underwear are heard silently moving.


“Kojak, it’s Fetaman, I. M. Fetaman. You’re my peer so I think you should know: I’ve Finger Jedi’d a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown uh, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 um an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I Jedi’d Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail manicure, and some men. Board room assassin style, uh some old faggot’s with a dog of an IPO last week. I killed another BOD with a logical chainsaw, I had to, he almost got away, and uh someone else there I can’t remember maybe a pro-forma model grunt or two, but they’s dead too. And Woody Allen. I killed Woody Allen with an axe in all his punchlines, his non-humorous text bodies have been shredded and are dissolving in a bathtub in Hell’s Kitchen. I don’t want to leave anything out here. I guess I’ve killed maybe 20 peoples dreams, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um… I crosshaired some of their brains, and I cooked ’em a little for life. Tonight I, uh, I just had to kill a LOT of of my own aggressions too, they could not stand. And I’m not sure I’m gonna get away with it this time as well. I guess I’ll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I’m a pretty uh, I mean I guess I’m a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, I may show up at Hemingway’s Bar, so you know, keep your eyes open.”
American Psycho, Finger Jedi Force version


*monk says humble what?


Trixa apo…

…do you think she had anything to do with shaping a nation?

It is spelt differentlly, but it smells the same. You know, that smell, that gasoline smell, smells like – victory.

The concept is a simple one, not involving some kind of hidden mystery, if you know the meaning behind the concept of the word moonie (moyni).

Allow me to illustrate, that is the alliteration of the Greek word for pussy. A Greek word for it in fact, as there are many. One could only imagine, the list is large. Horny, obsessed Greek’s can imagine a lot of words, including the slang. Almost a word for every Euro Dollar owed to Germany.

As such, the phrase then means “hair from a pussy”. The completed wisdom jewel is literally “a hair from a pussy can pull a ferry/cruise ship/freight liner”.

Yes, another gem from the Greeks who figured this one out. Amazing the power of that hair, the strength of it, that could not only pull, but also “manipulate fate” of significant vessels, things of purpose, By using the special powers that are manifested there, cultivated over the course of a lifetime to be wire like fibres that men have lashed against rocks to acquire the blessing of. The love of. To taste the sweet elixir from the field that lays beneath this great harvested, miracle hair.

A collection of them? A bush of these are akin to the burning bush of lore. The fire will not consume the bush, it will merely use it to attract the relevant mothus moses species, and anoint them with the message that was inspired by the God that brought them to this alter of worship.

All of this time, you have been thinking about the physical side of that bush, the fact that it somehow is merely a bush, and has no other qualities of admiration. Like staring at he branches and the roots, the flowers, the leaves – the whole bush – and thinking, that is all that it is.  A beautiful bush, a beautiful hair, that came to please the eyes, and provide the carnal pleasure that is the innate human nature we all stroke in an evolution of the 10 second clips, on every subject, fetish, desire, wanton soul soups.

Have you considered the fascination from the mental side? From the cognitive, cerebral mind. The lobes that slice the fragments of time into files in a meat locker formed of bone and flesh, firing some kind of logic around, somehow? What about the fascination of considering how men are swayed to change the course of history, using “intelligent thought” that is so influenced, not by the physical presence of the hair, or the raw ability of it to form a collective chain stronger than any braided steel, but more as a result of the intellectual prowess of the beautiful women that have enhanced life, and made it the great thing that it is today.

Or is it? How confident are you, truly you, the male reader, the other version of me, like the billions that are out there. We are all part of that penis category, so we are all “alike” there. If we initiate our classification from this starting point, then we are all asked one simple defining question;

How truly happy are you that women have been part of life and the creation of modern society?

Sounds pretty simple, and most men would clearly look around, roll the eye’s and ensure their reaction is directly proportionate to the number of women in the immediate circumference.  Easy enough, yes, very confident. On that scale, I would say a 8.5/10. Well Larry, that may be actually 9.5 for me, I love the ladies and all that they have done.

That is funny. It is a lie, and it represents so much more. I can only assure you, this topic is just one of many other’s that are sitting here on the site, for discussion and introduction – for the use and the purpose of taking over two and a half decades of observations, from a professional male, an intelligent man that somehow got transformed into a block of cheese. A solid piece of being, a cultured, and confident brinesanity abider, that has many observations, that are salient, subjective, and formed on the objective actuality of life, as was, is and will be lived.

In the state of true abide, having been proudly able to declare, that yes, I am very happy, but I have a number of issues with the quality, and the concepts of “modern society” and they are random, rabid, rancid, accepting, loving, passionate, real, intelligent thoughts that are founded on logic, and the sound principles of the delivery methods, or actions we take, to ensure we are aware of where we are going.

We are aware, of where that hair, and the holder of it, the admirer of it, the forces that are impacted by it, the unknown consequences are mitigated to the best of our ability…

We are the one’s that define those miles, and how we own them.

Don’t ever try to lie to yourself about that, at the very least. Don’t try. Truly, don’t.